Emirembe

My Mum is lying in bed asleep. I think it's the first time in at least 2 weeks that she has been in bed before 11pm.

I realise that I want to be that person who calmly tells things. She calmly told me, I calmly told myself, she calmly told the man... I want to be someone sure of herself, sure of the moral and spiritual authority behind her values and actions. I don't want to be the person who scares other people off with emotional rampages and rants, or the person who panics when the house is on fire and thrusts her baby into the arms of a stranger. I want to be able to breathe and think of Jesus, the unshakeable, who calmly told the waves to be still during a storm, and calmly drew in the dust and then told the Pharisees to look at their own hypocrisy in the middle of a crowd lusting to stone a poor adulteress.

Auntie Sheila was very good at remaining calm. Mum told me that she never ever saw her ruffled, except for once, when her most extreme expression of exasperation was 'Oh, I wish David wouldn't do that.'

I know my heart often feels like a shaking aspen, but I hope that I will grow in wisdom to become an oak, steady strong and true.