When Jacob had a week off for the March holidays I took some time off too, and we made scones (recipe here). I put the cream on first just so it would look more beautiful in a photograph, even though I think that jam first is a more practical move.
No one eats a scone in a rush.
The really beautiful thing about afternoon tea is that it's a promise of time. Time is something me and Jacob both find difficult to move through slowly. I'm a chronic multi-tasker and I like things fast. A few months ago, David and Rosie told our small group about a podcast called 'Fight hustle, end hurry'. In the episode 'Slowing down', John Mark Comer and Jefferson Bethke talk about how Jesus, who had an ultimate goal and was fixed upon it during his time here, also gave himself time for interruption. He let a woman touch his robe and turned aside and spoke to her. He spotted a man up a tree and said, 'Let's have dinner.' He was hanging on a cross and took the time to speak to the men sharing his suffering on either side of him. This is my God. We don't need to relentlessly use up every inch of our time, we can have time to spare.
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It's now the June holidays, and we've been married for three weeks (that's a whole story for another time). Already, slowing down has become a necessity and a pleasure. It means that I notice the birds that lace the trees around our home, and notice one which comes back consistently to say hello in the morning. Pancakes taste better taken slow, as does porridge, and toast with faux-butter and raspberry and fig jam. Slowing down is part of how I love and enjoy Jacob, it honours him when I take the time to say what I'm about to do, or when I do something slower but well so he doesn't have to pick up the pieces of the fall out of my rush.
One day last week, we went separate ways - Jacob to pick up a bicycle, and me to get some bits and pieces for the house. When I wasn't around him, like a boat that lost its mooring I felt untethered and went back to speed. I tried to do too many things, using the countdown timer on the washing machine as a 'deadline'. I ended up falling down the stairs, and bruising my elbow. I also ended up exhausted and teary later on when Jacob came home. I was just trying to do a lot so he'd be proud of his wife and his nice clean home. But I realised that what Jacob wants is not what I do, he wants me. He wants to hold me and love me, laugh with me and be with me, not have my mind race on all the things I can do for him whilst actually not being with him.
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This morning as we savoured our toast, we talked about making scones and inviting people over for tea. We imagined the games we'd play. I listed about five, and Jacob laughed and said we wouldn't be able to do all of that over tea and scones. I relented; how ever many games we had time for, that will be enough. There's no need to rush.
