Tutorial introvert

LOST: planner. If found please call me and let me be relieved

I lost my Alice in Wonderland planner

How am i going to go on with life

NOOOOOOOO

all my ticket stubs
and small notes from friends
and illustrations and
plan to draw the gospel in 7 days
AND MY B E AU T I F U L BLOOMING FLOWER POSTCARD

gone

NOoooooOoOOoOOOOoOOOOoooooooo

Rhythm of the Night

Last Saturday i went to the NIGHT SAFARI with Niki (with only one k) and Aymee

And i haven't been for ages ages ages so i was pretty excited

I used to love the night safari because you got to touch snakes and feel their smooth scales and coolness,and i loved the creatures of the night show where they shocked you and pulled a huge boa constrictor from beneath the seat of a 'lady with the nice shoes'

Anyway, we went there after 9 because it was half price (like my dad says: Never resist a good offer)

And after Aymee got this incredible long slurpee in a tube, we went walking around looking at the animals

I loved loved the slow loris, it just sort of crept along with an enormous amount of grace for such a tiny slow creature. It moved incredibly slowly, but it was like every millimeter of movement was entirely and carefully thought over and decided on. (Therefore i conclude that i like slow lorises because of their certainty and thought)

I also adored the flying squirrels that we saw. We actually went into this enclosure with them, so they flew around, leaping and gliding from trees to the walkway, missing us by less than a meter. They were incredible. Every time they flew they portrayed such power and i don't know how to say it. Watching them gave you the satisfaction you feel when you shake a bed sheet and it billows out with that lovely hwooosh sound, or when you lie under a falling blanket.

We also saw bats, which were slightly freaky because they looked very very sweet, wrapped up in their wings and hanging from the roof of the bat cave, and them all of a sudden they'd open their glistening beady eyes and be STARING RIGHT AT YOU, or they'd suddenly fly right past you so quick and so fast and so suddenly

The elephants and giraffes were also amazing, so Majestic and graceful and wonderfully created

I love how giraffes walk, they seem to slightly shiver every step, a tentative kind of walking, and you can see their knees pushing up and you can see the entire transition of weight and it's such a beautiful process and it makes you wonder how they manage to care about their legs when their head is always high up in the sky

Elephants shall forever be my favourites. Their wisdom, amiability, and love for everything-i feel like i could learn a lot from them

One of the best parts of the night was Aymee calling a porcupine a porkypig i don;t know why it sounded so right but so funny at the same time i still laugh when i think about it

I also loved eating that Chinese flat pink thing and hello panda biscuits on the tram (for some reason i used to think the pink thing must be made of meat) with niki and aymee it was a really nice comforting moment of fellowship i don't know i just felt really mellow and comforted then, a kind of i-want-to-wallow-in-you-forever moment

Another moment was finding the blooming flower postcard. It's a card which when you tilt it forward and backward it shows a flower blooming in a kind of time lapse sequence. It's one of the most beautiful things I've seen and i couldn't believe i could carry around a flower that i could constantly make alive, or cause to recede back into it's bud stage. It's fascinating and so of course i bought it

The entire night was enormous fun and so nice to spend with friends i can't believe Aymee will be going back to France she's pretty much part of the class now but thank God Niki will be here and maybe in 2015 we can go to France together and see Aymee again and the French porkpigs :)

Belle

This blog has the most beautiful pictures

http://osmaharvilahti.tumblr.com/

The watermill

(I decided to write about my England holiday in parts because i can't remember every thing in chronological order and there were a few bits that are special and other bits that probably won't interest you)

THE LAST DAY i.e THE WATER MILL

Usually, we go to the water mill in the first few days

It's biggest draw are of course the mill pond, which is filled with tiddly little fish and sometimes bigger ones if you're lucky, and it generally fun to splash around in and explore/walk down in general

And the other draw is the Pakenham homemade icecream
MMMMMmmmMMMMMmmmmmmMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

They make it in Suffolk, and sell it in the sweet little gift shoppe for tourists who've just finished the tour of the mill, or hungry people in general, and it tastes SO GOOD

But this time, one of the best bits of the water mill was getting there

Auntie Sarah and I decided to cycle, her on the rickety old brown bike with the wobbly seat, and me on the bright purple bike that screams "I BELONG TO BARNEY"

Cycling in England is way different from cycling in Singapore

In Singapore, you look left and right every minute, making sure a car isn't stuck behind you, or you aren't about to crash into oncoming traffic, or the traffic light is on, or you have the right of way....

But in England, you go down one way dirt paths, through fields of Barley, Wheat and Rape seed (which is prettier than it sounds, its hills and hills of sunny yellow flowers)
The wind blows cool on your face and whips your hair around your face
And the air smells of clean and grass and contentment

Auntie Sarah cycled down the high street, off the side (past the Ixworth fish and chip shop), through the lane that has two rows of birch trees forming a kind of canopy over your head, and then over Pooh sticks Bridge, which is where Connie, Hannah and I played pooh sticks and left a leaf/flower/discarded paper message to the next gallivanter who happened to go down that way.

The we went through the farmers fields which are so vast and beautiful and plentiful when you look at them you feel amazed that we could even EAT such a lot, and feel safe and calm, and imagine (well maybe not you but me at least) the Sting song ...when we walked in fields of gold...

We had to push our bikes (Auntie sarah pushed her bike, i kind of waddled on the seat of mine because i was too lazy to get off) through a lot of stinging nettles but thank god i was wearing wellie books so i just got a tiny sting on my thigh, and lots of pollen all over my arms and legs.

At the mill pond, Tim and I fished, and Tim managed to catch a few tiddlers (2), and let me hold them in my cupped hands as he looked for more. It's quite a novel feeling to have 2 teeny fish swimming around in your hands, the sense of vulnerability and fragility was so great i knew that if i didn't keep refilling my hands with water of if i closed my fists, those fish would die. It was quite terrifying having so much power over such tiny lives (I wonder if God feels that nervous?)

Then Tim and I sat on the fence and had our ice creams, but we still felt hungry, so we went round the back with Mum, Hannah, Grandma and the rest, and they had tea and scones, while Tim and I had a slice of lemon drizzle cake each. (The shopkeeper was very nice and friendly and VERY VERY beautiful, and she seemed so at home and happy with her job, i'd love that life of contentment and joy)

After that, we went exploring the Bigger mill pond round the back (This one you aren't allowed to paddle/swim in), and watched for carp (Or was it pike?), and watched a mother swan and her 2 goslings slide into the water and swim (I collected a few of their feathers from the grass), and had a dare to see who'd jump over the fence, and i saw my first mole (And mostly felt it as it burrowed under the ground, but i glimpsed it's nose for a second when it emerged from a hole)

Then we paddled more and basically acted like kids who were going to stay there forever (maybe because the opposite was imminently true :( ) until we had to head home

You'll remember me when the west wind moves upon the fields of barley.
You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky as we walk in fields of gold.
So she took her love for to gaze awhile upon the fields of barley.
In his arms she fell as her hair came down among the fields of gold.

Will you stay with me, will you be my love among the fields of barley?
We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky as we lie in fields of gold.
See the west wind move like a lover so upon the fields of barley.
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth among the fields of gold.

I never made promises lightly and there have been some that I've broken,
But I swear in the days still left we'll walk in fields of gold.
We'll walk in fields of gold.

Many years have passed since those summer days among the fields of barley.
See the children run as the sun goes down among the fields of gold.
You'll remember me when the west wind moves upon the fields of barley.
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky when we walked in fields of gold,
When we walked in fields of gold, when we walked in fields of gold.

So good

Usually on fridays between 3.10 pm and 4.30 pm (when i have a free period while the rest of my class goes home/to chinese) i laze around reading whatever book i'm currently stuck in, or doing work in the silent room in the library

And today i was planning to read 'The Book Thief' and finish my history and GP homework

But then

A much better option came my way

Niki and Aymee (from France how cool is that-but what's cooler is that she's super nice and funny and fun to be with) and I decided to head over to Star to introduce Aymee to the MAGIC OF FROYO

So we walked over, and planned all the fantastic things we have to do:
-buy sport shoes/swimmies with luk ching and claire (and simultaneously introduce Aymee to orchard road)
-Go to the night safari (EXCITES)
-Go to gardens by the bay
-Have a picnic at my house (we actually didn't talk about this it just came into my head and i realised WE SHOULD)

Then we went to Sogurt and showed Aymee how to work the machines
I got plain (Like usual) and a crazy lot of toppings (unusual) because i was feeling rich from getting my refund from the class fund, and because it was my lunch, and because i never knew they had Pocky as a topping (!!!)

We sat by the fountains and ate and talked and laughed at the small fat baby that was playing in the residual fountain water (The fountain stopped) and secretly hoped the fountain would suddenly erupt again and surprise/soak the baby

Then we went impromptu grocery shopping in Cold Storage and mulled over Betty Crocker pre mixes, and cereal and marmite
Apparently the french have something against marmite because aymee called it the 'English Durian' (i.e foul tasting)

Anyway i'm so glad i spent my hour and 20 minutes with them because there's always so much to say and so much to discover and so much to EAT and they are just so much fun life with them is so good

-

I'm so so tired right now
i think it's because school was draining
i got back my first 2 term papers (math and GP) and maybe i set my standards too high but i was disappointed (For GP)
And then there was the BIG birthday celebration that i'd planned for like crazy trying to think how to make it big enough especially cos sam and niki and shana are really AWESOME PEOPLE and i wanted to make their birthdays extra special
i think the planning+excitement (I was smiling like crazy i love birthdays) made me expend all my energy then and then die when i got home
i have no idea why i'm writing this
i think i thought writing down
I AM TIRED
would make me less tired but it doesn't
Gonna sleep early (i.e 10.30) and hope i have nice dreams

Also, Welcome to my blog Niki :)

Today

Today was a c r a z y

In the morning I went for chapel worship

and
it was pretty good

i learnt the drums (2 beats really) from randy our drummer which us pretty good considering i just met him and yay i managed not to be awkward

after that i walked home in the pouring rain, singing worship sings and loving the water swirling round in my shoes

after a brief session of listening to grace potter and the nocturnals, i got ready to go to

R A F F L E S

I was planning this for a long long time

I'd got a Bayley Waddle shirt and i borrowed wei xin's shirt and I
COULDN'T WAIT TO SEE HER IN SCHOOL

But horror of horrors, as i was in the mrt IN THE RAFFLES DISGUISE i saw my SL and she saw me and waved and oh dear now she thinks i'm a traitor to my school I'm sure of it

Just to clarify i was wearing my ACJC school shorts under the raffles skirt in a show of loyalty but she couldn't see that i couldn't exactly shout I"M WEARING ACJC SCHOOL SHORTS UNDER THIS across one north mrt station so i just boarded the train and tried to forget it all by reading my book (i'm now reading The brief history of the dead-fantastic, riveting, i don't see why it's not famous)

Wei xin kindly met me at the mrt station and then we went in
I was so nervous and excited that someone would see me but thank god no one stopped us
so i think i did a pretty good job of fading inconspicuously into the background

I had an ice cream in their school canteen and made small talk with her class mates and sprang a surprise on some of the SC people that went to raffles

Then we walked around school, and stalked people (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH please don't judge. I'm not creepy), and met up with more people

One funny bit of the trip was when i bumped into a primary school friend who i'd met earlier in the year at an ACJC vs RI tennis match and he looked surprised and said "I didn't know you were in Raffles?!" (or something to that effect)
and then i said "You didn't know?"

And he seemed confused and embarrassed so i felt bad for messing with him and told him i was from ac hahahahaha

some people... will believe that if you say orange fast enough it sounds like gullible

After that, Weixin had to go for a lecture, and i had to go home to watch my MOVIES 

So i went home on the train, having to breathe fast and walk past loads more raffles people (i felt like frank Abagnale Jnr (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Abagnale) But i've long since learnt how to look calm in situations where i feel like a fireworks are exploding in my belly or ice is running down the small of my back- i just pretend i'm a model (i realise how embarrassing this is when i write it down but i shall continue) and i have an audience, but the light is shining so that i can't see their faces and so i just have to keep my face proud and blank and walk on. It actually works for me i don't know why and it's much better than what i used to do which was wad up a corner of my skirt in my hand and squeeze till it hurt

When i got home i realised that drat i missed the 191 by about 5 minutes on the bus time table so i started walking home in the rain, until i heard a low rumble behind me and saw the 191 and thank god it was the nice Indian driver my friend driving, so he stopped the bus and i ran back and got on, saving me a wet uniform and aching feet, and giving me an interesting conversation

When i got home, i watched "She's the man" (a loosely modern translation of my literature renaissance text-12th night) and ate dinner and got ready for ballet

my day was fantastic i love long weekends

Young

Yesterday was youth day
In the morning, i headed down to tanglin halt to get a hair cut
i was kind of in one of my moods (probably because i was reading Never let me go by kazuo ishiguro-more on that another time)
and i'd also been turning the haircut over in my mind last night, and decided that i wouldn't go to my normal hair dressers
because although he does a decent job
the uncomfortable experience makes it all not worth it
cos what he does is talk-whisper to me in chinese the entire time
maybe he's trying to be soothing (because having a haircut is oh SO traumatizing) but it just creeps me out
so when i spotted a $5 hair cut offer at a tiny little barbers i thought
'perfect'
i went in and read some more while waiting for my turn, and then asked the hair dresser to give me a trim (Up to -this is a weird way of expressing it but i can't exactly use my hands to gesture- the crease where my arm meets my shoulder)
and he looked like he got it
and proceeded to chop it 3 inches shorter
so it was with some shock that i walked out of the shop with my hair just just below my shoulders
it felt gorgeous though, even though for $5 it was just a straight chop, no layers of special blow drying or water/soap spray thing

Then i took the 123 to plaza singapura, and purposely got off one stop late so i could finish Never let me go by the time i walked to plaza singapura (which i did)
and then i met weixin, ellis wanchia and charmaine, who i felt like i hadn't seen in e o n s
we talked and dithered over where to eat for a while (it was so deliciously us, and comfortingly familiar because even though we knew it would take a g e s to decide where to eat there was the certainty that we would find somewhere eventually, as usual)
the we ate at Carls junior and had crepes for dessert (Nutella and banana please I'm in heaven)

While eating the crepes i saw Andy, Timothy, and the entire Acjc tennis team which was strange but nice as well

After food and a bit of daiso shopping (26 photo frames), we went to watch white house down in the cinema

I love cinemas, and specially this one
Usually when you go in there's this murky half light and you can see the shadows of people's faces when you squeeze past them into your seat
But this time it was almost pitch black, and i couldn't see anyone i was moving past, all i could hear was the rustle of clothes, and feel the outline of the chairs in front of me (and sometimes i accidentally bumped someones head/hair with my hands), and my mumbled apologies

White house down was good in my opinion
There were quite a few twists, lots of very good action, and generally a very cinema kind of show

After all the excitement of the movie i was pretty exhausted

and so i went home on the bus

I'm glad i got to spend youth day with the girls it felt very right and natural and  felt very young (despite my haircut making me feel old initially)

Experiences

Yesterday i went to the super market in my pajamas
I think i'll repeat that
another time because it was so comfortable

tomorrow i'm going to get my hair cut in the morning morning
i can't wait my hair has been so long for so long i want it to be just below my shoulders again and not have it curling down my back (then again it doesn't curl)

relief

Crumpled

It's scientifically proven
that people with self control
are
happier

Are they sure?

It sure seems like often
things that are
capped
beneath the surface
just stay
troubling

ITS OVER

TERMS ARE OFFICIALLY OVER
i realise i sound like such a nerd worrying over terms and being like I need to study BYE in every whatsapp conversation but still, terms are terms
THEY ARE IMPORTANT
i don't know why but i feel like i didn't do as well as i hoped for or as well as i thought i deserved to do, since i really crammed tons and tons of information in my head
in some strange inverse relation irony (OF MY LIFE), the subject i studied least for (Lit) was the subject i felt most confident in after the exam
The rest of my papers all didn't do as well as i thought i would/thought i deserved (Except for math which i expected would be a fiasco)  mostly because of time constraint, Especially for history, because i thought the exam ended 15 minutes later than it actually did, meaning i wrote a very short second essay (the south east asian history one) which was a pity because i really loved the question which i thought was interesting and unconventional and also i felt like i let down one of my favourite teachers in a subject i really enjoy. I just felt like i didn't do justice to history at all
Still
it is terms
terms are terms
and they're over

Hello hello

I love meeting friends by chance it's  even more special than meeting them purposefully sometimes because it reminds you how easy everything is with them because even though you bump into each other its easy to talk and laugh and say good bye

So meeting eejin on my way home was so funny yesterday (even though the annoying part of my brain was like ECONNSSSS ECONSSSS MATHHHH HISTORYYYYY) especially cos he was with his other friend who acted so blur and awkward the whole time i felt like laughing.

YAY friends

dang i miss my primary school friends (Braminaaa Belleeee :'( ) Thank God national day is coming and i can FINALLY SEE THEM

Friday please where are you friday please

Econs tomorrow and history and math on thursday and then FRIDAY

FRIDAY
When I can meet up with Zen and eat breakfast and swim and watch movies and dress up and reeeelaxxxx

PLEASE COME QUICK

that will truly be a TGIF day

This coming week

This is me

Exams

Terms

Need i say more

Gahhh