Monday, November 26, 2012

Hotel stayover 2012


it's an annual thing, what can i say?
Before the hotel stayover at MBS (i have rich friends what can i say?)
I went to my other friend Yanxuan's party
on a yacht
(i have rich friends what can i say?)

It was quite fun, there were sausages and satay and otah (too spicy for me though)
and we watched An education which was beautiful and the lead reminded me of Auntie rachel physically because they both have this Clever and Pretty  English Girl look about them
And the entire time we were sitting snugly in the hold of this yacht that was moored and just bobbed about really comfortingly. It felt like when i was in Vietnam on the train which swayed over the tracks and i had a really really good nights sleep, dreams i could actually forget that were not superficial but just fleeting . This questions of dreams really intrigues me actually because so many of my friends don;t dream anymore, or at least they forget their dreams so fast but i remember them very well, the colours and the happenings, and i still have nightmares, which are supposed to stop almost entirely by the time you are 8 or so i hear.
Anyway, after that, we (meaning weixin and I) went to MBS for the sleepover. We browsed through the Little delicatessen shop in the lobby which had very beautiful little cakes but at exorbitant prices.
When the rest came, we went up to the room (which had a toilet doorwith NO LOCK) and bummed around for a bit, then changed into our swimming togs so we could go to the famous skypool. Unfortunately, we only had 4 tickets and 8 people, 6 of whom wnated to swim. We tried tricking the guards but got caught most embarrassingly, so ellis, angeline, deborah and grace went swimming first, and we stayed behind. Because the hotel room was boring just us, we went to the food court nearby,for dinner. After that weixin and i bought 2 hanako buns and a dark chocolate kitkat (me) and a chicken (weixin) from cold storage. But then we had to return to open the room for the 4 who had finished swimming. They peeled off the tag bracelets sticker things around their hands that gave them access to the pool, and gave them to us, and so weixin and i went swimming which was great fun because of the novelty of swimming in a pool 57 floors above the ground. We took silly pictures and laughed disapprovingly at the raucous teenagers who were flaunting their stupidity and lack of decorum.
Then we went back to the room and played truth or truth, monopoly deal and talked and talked and stalked (that s was intentional) people on facebook.
The next day i had to leave early for tim's PSLE results but it was so much fun being with the group again! :)

Prom 2012


I think prom can be summed up in one sentence that i heard from someone once: A life of parties and appearances.

it was fun, i admit, but i can't help feeling it was all a bit superficial, just all the girls showing off their dresses, looking unlike themselves in makeup, posing for photos... I found it all a bit overwhelming and so i wasn't very sprightly during the evening, which was probably why i won the "Miss demure 2012" prize (I can't really see any other reason why, though i was touched at the gesture)
Still, i was proud of all my friends because they all looked so beautiful. And i had such fun preparing for prom with wei xin, running around in FBTs and then in our actual prom dresses!

the french and tie dye day


Last friday was my date with weixin and ellis to create tie dye masterpieces. But we didn't have the supplies so wei xin and i had to go to plaza singapura to buy tiedye from spotlight. 

Unknown to us, at plaza sing, there was a french carnival thing (part of the Voilah! french festival thats happening now in singapore apparently) and we stumbled right into it. There were croissants and wine and Laurent Bernard Chocolates and books and all manner of yummy thingsss. And then this lady (dressed in all black with red lipstick oh how french) said in a very French accent:"Zer vill be a french Qvizzz at elevhen Tventy...Zer vill be prizes like shocolat und boooooks und vine..." (sorry for the atrocious spelling i don;t know how else to convey her very fine french accent) so naturally, me and weixin, feeling very spontaneous and french, mugged up on what we thought was important (france's independence day is on the 14th of July, and it's telephone code thing is 33) and after buying t shirts and dye, we hurried back to the place and got our quiz sheets but unfortunately all the questions were very strange like what is the hermes scarf called? and what are the 3 main ingredients in crepes? so we frantically googled all we could and then and THEN this irritating woman auntie person came over and said

"Can i copy your answers?"

NO discretion no subtlety, just plain copying!!!

But the absolute worst part was when she won first prize, including all the Laurent Bernard chocolate :(

It was a miscarriage of justice i tell you.

Oh well, weixin and i got 5 balls of Laurent Bernard Chocolate as a consolation prize because we only got 3 questions wrong.

Then we got home to tie dye which was CRAZY fun im serious i swear.

i want to do it again and again however it's kind of expensive so it's probably juts going to be an annual or once in 2 years treat :(

but the shirts we made were fantabulous i did 2 shirts and i even tie dyed my old school skirts while i was at it. (then i realised shoots i need them next year!)

Sunday, November 18, 2012

the day we saved the earth twice


yesterday i went to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS Singapore
my father's company apparently has an annual family day, and this year it was at universal studios
Emily joined us (actually she slept over the night before to make travelling more convenient.) and on saturday we all trooped out of the house with bright blue 'sembcorp my family' shirts on, and drove to USS.
When we got there the park was literally a sea of blue. not the normal sea colour of dirty green, but really bright blue. it was like one of those futuristic sci fi movies where everyone is identical in their clothes and troops to the same place everyday.
We made our way to the marine place, stopping to get muffins, water and ponchos (all free) on the way. The complementary food was obviously there for a reason because at the marine place we had to endure about 45 minutes of speeches and a thoroughly pointless lucky draw (of course, i'm only saying that because we didn't win anything)
but at long last we got to go on the ridses, about 5 minutes before the rest of singapore streamed into the park. Because we knew that the jurassic park ride has a disgustingly long queue, we decided to go for that ride first. However, after queuing for about 10 minutes they told us there was a problem and we should wait.
so we did
for another 15 ish minutes, during which i noticed they had a tiny replica of what the jurassic age might have looked like in their office, complete with plastic palm trees and dinosaurs.
we did get to go on eventually, and i found the novelty of it (never been on it before) amusing and fun but it wasn't breathtakingly amazing in any real sense.
then we ran around slightly lostily (a word i just made up) and decided to go on the dragon ride (which brought back memories of dragon tlaes, a cartoon i used to relish) called enchanted airways, which was actually just like the train ride in escape theme park but instead of a pink and purple train it was a pink dragon. Then we went on shrek 4D which you can't really say 'we went on' for because it was like a more 3D movie, that is the chairs moved and things tickled your legs and water sprayed on you at opportune moments.
Then we went on the MUMMY ride which i remember loving from the last time i went. Since tim was afraid of going by himself that first time, we queued up instead of taking the fast single rider lane.
We queued up for a long long long time
We were sandwiched between a bunch of smelly pre pubescent boys who smelled really bad and were really stinky, and a bunch of obnoxious post pubescent boys who continually shouted (including one who said "my balls" extremely loudly) The ride itself was really really fun and even though i knew what was coming i screamed just as much as everyone else.
Before lunch we went on the red human rollercoaster which i recalled as being lousy and jerky bhut it was actually really good. Still jerky but enjoyable all the same.
Lunch was at this fantastic Italian place with american sized portions at hannah's recommendation. We ordered the hugest pizza i've ever set eyes on, 2 servings of mushroon soup, a caesar salad and iced milo and this strange oreo expresso dessert which was like coffee jelly with oreo crumbs on top. The entire lunch was delicious and extremely filling, and only cost us $1.90 because my dad had meal vouchers alongside the discounted tickets his company gave out.
After lunch tim dad and hannah had to go home, and the rain decided to visit the park too, so it poured and bucketed.
because we'd just eaten a gargantuan lunch and it was pouring with rain so all the outdoor rides were closed, we decided to go on the transformer ride which had a 2 hour estimated waiting time. to while away the hours in the queue, we decided to guess what the N.E.S.T sign that was ubiquitous stood for. I guessed Nova Extraterrestrial super transformers, emily guessed Nero Electron somethingorother. But i won because it turned out to be Non biological Extraterrestrial _____ treaty, so i had one similar word. The ride itself was stupendoussss. It really deceived me into believing i was in the middle or a war zone (and i have to say i wan;t very level headed and decisive). When at the end optimus prime said "your bravery has saved the planet" i thought to myself, bravery? i was screaming my head off. Still, saving the planet was quite a good way to spend the day i must say.
then we went on the blue cylon ride which i love love love love loveeeeee
and the mummy (single ride this time so we went right to the front of the queue in a jiffy)
after a brief confusion over the locker which had us leave the queue for the cylon ride half way through, we reached the front of the cylon queue again, and sat in the ride, waiting to go. But then (terribly) they told us that thunder had been heard and for our safety they had to suspend the ride for a while (though they didn;t know how long).
While we waited, we talked to a friendly staff member called edwin who told us about the secrets to the rides, and how he spent his childhood (playing with 'phighting pish') and asked about our dreams and our schools inquired about the very important detail on whether we used olive oil, peanut oil or cooking oil.
finally, after a 45 minute wait, they said they were very sorry but they probably wouldn't be able to let us on the ride, and to compensate, they gave us express tickets (oh joy oh rapture) so of course we ran headlong to
the transformers ride, bypassed the hour long queue, and saved the planet a second time that day, screaming the entire time because of sheer joy and shock.
and another wonderful surprise awaited us after that because the $9 fine we incurred over our locker was waived in its entirety by a kindly park ranger who probably wanted us out of the park as soon as possible, seeing as it was closing time. And so we skipped out, got home, watched 1911, and slept.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

deepavali day


Deepavali holiday was absolutely fantastic
even though it was just 2 days before my chemistry o level paper 1 (which was today actually)
it was still fantastic and i didn't even study at all i could just forget horrible o levels and focus on having fun
the morning began with a marvellous breakfast with wei xin.
in actuality, we planned to go out shopping with everyone but because lots of people couldn;t make it, we went for breakfast anyway instead.
we went to simply bread and bought:
Miriam-a chocolate crossaint and a sticky bun (which is just a sticky Cinnamon bun)
Wei Xin- a raspberry twist and a sticky bun as well
and it was good because it was all under $5 and very yummy as well
instead of sitting in the crowded simply bread room, we decided to picnic in botanic gardens

there's something about having good food with a good friend,  in a gazebo surrounded by greenery is probably one way i'd love to spend my mornings everyday (other ways include swimming  by myself, with a ready packed bag of cheese and cucumber sandwiches wrapped in paper and ruffles crisps ready at hand to eat, or making pancakes/croissants/waffles in the kitchen....)

we talked for about 3 hours (a feat impossible with anyone i don't know very well) and watched the Filipino maids who were in the gazebo with us sing, take pictures of themselves, and play with their dog Chloe. they also offered us food (they brought it all!) but since we'd just had a breakfast we declined politely.

then we walked out, to cold storage, coronation and then i had to go home.

i went home for about 2 minutes,

and then i went out with my family for lunch at Alexander village (an undiscovered food heaven i swear) i had pear and apple soup since my stomach wasn't feeling that sound, and then ruined the 'protecting my stomach' attempt by ordering orange juice, which according to my mother (after i ordered it) is bad for a tender tummy.

then we went to the TYR sale and i finally bought a swimming costume that fits (the last time we went, i bought a black one that was too small and i never wore it but i couldn;t return it because all sales items sold are 'non returnable and non refundable'

when we got home , i decided to hunker down because i'd practically been out the whole day and (like homing pigeons. or electrons. or most other humans) i feel less comfortable away from home. so hannah and i watched Wild Child which i quite liked and now my favourite word is 'horridious'. right when the credits finished rolling hannah turned on 'the writer' by ellie goulding and we had an impromptu dance party complete with pirouettes and very graceful jumps around or lounge

since it was deepavali, we went to our neighbours to celebrate. i wore my neighbour's mum's indian clothes which was a bit strange i thought but it wasn't embarrassing in the slightest actually. we made little flour stencil things and planned a rangoli pattern, lit fire crackers and sparklers and made  (the annual) bonfire.

while watching the fire burn, my neighbour told asked me about prom, and i told her that mine was on monday. Then, she told me she had a dress that would be perfect. (because she's kind of my size even though she's older, and already has 2 kids.)

so we went to her house i she let me try on this gorgeous princess dress and i absolutely loved it, and she told me i should wear it for prom and wrapped it up and everything

and i really do love it it's magnificent. it has wire in the bodice and black lace under the skirt to keep it in shape, and sleeves that just slip off your shoulders on purpose. It's so wonderful and when i wear it i feel like a real princess in old time russia, or at least like someone important in downton abbey.

but how can i wear it for prom? it's to good for prom. too beautiful and regal. and later i found out that it's slightly too big and i have to continually tug it up make sure it doesn't surreptitiously slip down. so unfortunately i decided not to wear it after all. still i do like to occasionally slip it on just to pretend i'm some one like mary crawley, living in a baronial old house with gorgeous gowns.

all in all, it was a superb day.

Monday, November 12, 2012

another funday





http://sleepingpolicemen.blogspot.sg/2011/05/oohh-sundays-fundays.html

if you read that post up there, then this post will be a dead ringer because yesterday was fantastic, fun and so so similar to that sunday last year.

Going to church was normal as usual and i just expected it to be another sunday. church lunch, then go home and bum about for a day.

worship felt slightly empty to me, i didn't even realise that the song of response had started playing and i just stood there staring at the screen like a zombie, not singing or anything, until like the last line, which i just whispered and didn't sing because i didn't feel like i responded to the song.

sunday school was combined with the J1s and 2s

after church i helped a lady do a survey, and my mum did too. apparently she wanted me to do the survey because i am from 'an elite secondary school', which puzzled me because it was about unis and wouldn't they want a range of answers from elite schools and others schools as well? but doing the survey earned me $5 so i wasn't exactly complaining.

the rest of the day wasn't quite as normal as usual.

since daddy and tim went off for one of tim's football matches (which happened last sunday too and i'm beginning to wish they didn't but perhaps i'm just jealous) hannah, mum and i took the 156 to serene center, where hannah left us to go to her friend's house, and mum ad i went to get supplies for tim's party, which was supposed to happen later in the after noon (it didn't happen after all because 2 of the 4 people he was inviting were grounded and another one had hurt his teeth and couldn't eat properly, so it would have been a party consisting of his sibling, a friends, and another friend who couldn't eat hard food)

Mum and i went to Da Paolo first, and bought....

a chocolate chip scone (heaven is a place...)
2 packets of pasta sauce
i loaf of rosemary ciabatta bread

Then we went to cold storage to stock up on party supplies

We bought

a carton of yoplait strawberry yoghurt
a bottle of lime juice
2 boxes of 3 magnum classics
one more magnum classic
some berry dessert mum wanted
marshmallows
grapes

then we got home, taking the bus, and having conversations about sunsets retirements, driving lessons, and church on the way back.

lunch was ciabatta sandwiches, with cucumber, ham and cheese, and i had brownies for dessert, mum had her weird berry thing.

after that, i pottered about, read my book and did the 'bumming about' i talked about

i wrote a letter to auntie sheila and posted it, which for some reason is an exercise that fills me with alot of satisfaction. i also rummaged around the neighbour's rubbish pile cos he's moving out and throws all his old comics and cd covers and clothes and stuff at the grass near the concrete steps.

i found an interesting book of naval maps (which sounds weird i mean the navy marine sea ocean voyage kind of naval as opposed to the belly button kind)

and then i went to shana's house and saw her new puppy poppy (haha) whose the most adorable thing ever. she's silky soft and has pert ears that stick up unlike most Labrador retrievers, and she's about the length of my forearm (excluding her waggly tail)

dinner was pasta with da paolo sauce and then we watched downton abbey while munching on slices of da paolo scone.

a perfect end to a wonderful day.

Friday, November 9, 2012

of rags and riches


 
these 2 pictures have been comfortably sitting in my computer file titled 'for blog' for ages
but only recently have i had the compulsion to talk about this topic and drag them out
the topic being poverty and ostensity (my own type phrasing of ostentatious-ity)'
anyway, first i consider myself.
interms of money and finances
i don't think i'm rich
i take the bus home, i do chores, i cook meals, i have a $50 budget on my prom dress, i have to consider the price and calculate how many weeks of savings it amounts to before buying things...
But then i don't think i'm poor either
my dad drops me off to school on the way to work, my family owns a car, i go to a school that has school fees that aren't cheap, i have a cleaner that comes on mondays, i can afford to go to prom, i have more than 1 dress, 1 pair of pants, 1 skirt, 1 shirt, 1 pair of shorts etc, i have a computer, i have recently aquired a smartphone, being the fourth person out of my family of 5 to do so, both my parents have jobs...
so when discussing issues on financial background with my friends i firmly park myself in the generic margin called average.
but recently i've found myself marvelling at the riches of some of my friends.
i don't begrudge their good fortune, i think it's a great blessing. but i do have my opinions on it.
some friends get dropped off and picked up from school, they shop freely with their parents money, they own branded bags and clothes that cost more than $100, they have big houses...
perhaps it's jealously on my part. i don;t know.
when i was younger and we got chinese new year money, my parents would make me divide it equally in to 4 parts. one part to save, on part to spend, on part to give to charity and one more part that i don;t know what they did with it.
 
nowadays i don't knowwhat to think about money. is it right that some people have more? or is it just another of life's inequalities like deformities and metal retardation? is it wrong for someone to have more? even when they worked super hard for it and some poor people are lazy? why is it that some people are lazy and rich and some are lazy and poor? and some are hardworking and rich and some are hardworking and poor?
why

shopping with the shopper girl

 
so yesterday's yesterday i went out shopping after the incredibly hard higher chinese paper
although clothes shopping is meant to be a girl thing
for some reason i can't appreciate it that much
after about an hour or 2 of constant walking and browsing my feet ache, my tummy starts moaning quietly to itself and my eyes become desensitized to the clothes aroud me and long for the straight line of words in a book.
Perhaps its also cos my clothes shopping choices aren't always good.
and i'm limited in what to buy because of my knowledge of what effort it takes to save up all my pocket money, and it feels so unright to just blow 50 dollars on a t shir or something like that.
then again, i do enjoy certain kinds of shopping, like shopping in MINDS or at bookfairs and oxfam/britishheartfoundation/other charity shops in england, even on a rainy day
i actually really enjoyed myself for the first part of the shopping, when yaxuan, weixin and i went to make a build a bear. it was my first time and it was really fun helping them pick out clothes and putting a satin heart inside it's stuffing, taking the bear pledge. it was really sweet and exciting.
Then we walked around and went to paper market which was so entracing there was so many things i wanted, glittery paper, printed paper, notebooks, planners, stamps, cloth flowers, cloth leaves, paper flowers.... oh it was a craft heaven!
but of course i had a limited budget, and so i made myself buy only 4 pieces of paper and a set of animal notebooks i'm going to use to jot down my musings, memory verses, sights etc they'll be like portable mini diaries. some i'll give away because i don't think i need 8 diaries!

i really admire wei xin's capacity for stamina and joy for shopping. i kind of envy her ability to enjoy it so much. When i shop with her she comes alive alive and i feel slightly like a dead weight impeding her happiness... but oh well, people are made different.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

from dust to dust


i just got a smart phone.
which actually makes me feel incredibly dumb when i use it.
i had to transfer my sim card to the new phone
and in doing so
i lost
all
my
messages
a years worth of carefully cherished birthday wishes, condolences, strange word definitions, thank yous, advice, information, memory verses...
messages i worried over and cried over and thought and thought about their implications to me
it was either leave them in my old phone and let others read them at their pleasure
or, like the hara-kiri ritual of the ancient japanese,
destroy those memories lest they betray me later on
so now they are all gone

i will immortalise some here

but after tonight, i realise that technology can't really be trusted

"Really loved your card btw...it was the most touching thing all day"

"honestly...you'll be a different person"

"when doors to greener pastures are opened you walk through them. some of these doors open only once. don't let yourself be the one...that failed...culminating in a life of regret and misery"

"a wonderful person with a beautiful heart"

"3 more days and 3 more even shorter hours"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST DARLINGEST BFFL"

"i hope you toe is feeling better"

"i am now crying as a result of hiccuping"

"yes plant"

"Quixotic-rash and impulsive"

"i knew something was missing from my life"'

"here's to the year ahead"

"ACSI!"

"day of the remains"

"you are one of the few people i know who lives life to the fullest"

there are so many more, mostly memory verses which thankfully are stored in the bible. However i can't help but feel sad and a sense of loss for all those words that i used to read on the bus and giggle over and sigh over.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

bus rides



today on the bus ride home i was lugging 2 shopping bags of milk, shittake mushrooms, tim tams, coon tasty cheese, lasgna sheets and san remo penne. so i was really hoping and hoping that there would be a seat for me so i could put the bags down and rub the raw pink marks off my arms
the only space i saw was this seat next to a woman
whose hand bag covered about half the seat
obviously, she was saying
"I want to make people think i really am a gracious citizen and offering the seat next to me but really i don;t want people sitting next to me especially if they are smelly, have loud noisy children or talk loudly on their phone"
but i was so tired i didn't really give anything and so i just plonked myself on the seat, narrowly missing her bag which she grudgingly pulled away after i started making myself more comfortable

On yesterday's bus ride home from school, i was sitting right at the back which i like because it feels like you are being pulled by the bus (i don;t know how to explain the feeling)
and i saw this old man whose legs looked really red ans sore
and he was painfully pulling himself out of his seat to get off the bus
and somehow i was just struck with an incredible feeling of sadness and injustice
Why did that poor old man have to suffer? Why did he have to endure pain on a daily basis?
Was there anyone to rub cream on his legs and hug him?
I felt so sad for his that i had to do shaky breaths to stop myself from weeping a bit
obviously that was very strange and a man in sunshades actually took off his sunshades and gawked at me.

And the day that it rained very very heavily before my biology o level, i had to wear my red slippers and carry my school shoes to prevent them from turning into moldering swamps of smelliness
and my school dress was half light blue and half dark blue from the rain. So i squelched up on to the bus and almost slipped on the stairs and had to untie my hair so it could dry and i wouldn't get a clogged up head which is not desirable when you want to do a biology paper. And i swear everyone on the bus was judging me.

chalk arrows



i realise i never told you all about my adventure with the chalk arrows
well, here goes:

as you might and probably don't know
sometimes when i walk home from school, i spy these chalk arrows
they start around the train track and continue up and somewhere
once, one led right past my house
i never had the time or energy to follow them
UNTIL
one day when i decided stuff it i'm going to find out what thee mysterious things are
so when the next chalk arrows came out, i flung my bag in my house, wore my detective clothes, took a book about detectives in rome, and followed the arrows on my swave board while simultaneously reading about a roman mystery
the chalk arrows led to the sound of music valley and then stopped suddenly so i deduced with my wonderful powers of deduction that whoever it was must want me to go INTO the valley.
So (carrying my swaveboard in one hand and my book in the other) i set off down the hill, through the long swishy grass, and got down.
i threw down my swaveboard and decided to continue the journey on foot (it's kind of impossible to swave on grass)
and then i saw these strips of toilet paper hanging from a bush

A SIGN

and then i saw them from a tree further on.
so i hurried and got to the tree
but there the trail went cold
there was no toilet paper in sight (apart from the ones i already saw)

and so after 10 more minutes of fruitless searching

i gave up

and from that day on, the chalk arrows haven't made an appearance again

morbid questions


walking home yesterday, i wondered,
"if i died right now, would my parents cremate me ore bury me?"
cremation seems the more likely option because of space limited singapore where sand is more important than gold and the living are more important than the dead.

but if given the option, i was wondering how exactly i'd like to be buried (because burial seems more lovely. My family can visit my grave instead of swim in a sea peppered with my ashes)

i thought of somewhere in england, somewhere i like, like maybe the churchyard where my grandad is buried, or near the millpond, or in the back garden of silver birches or on the island of bungaboojay in the land of poojay.

and i'd probably like to have things i loved put around me, like simon bear and andrew and floppy joe and totty, and maybe books like alone on a wide wide sea, a thousand splendid suns and thomasina (which would be slightly strange since it's about a cat that dies but doesn't die) and a verse engraved on my headstone, either psalm 121 or 27 (i'd need a pretty humongous headstone for those though), which happen to be my favorite verses now, and little trinkets i keep like my kiss stone from desaru and the headless horseman i found in grandma's garden, and the teacup (the last survivor of my doll's teaset), and the fairy coin given to me by ellie and the elephant given to me by emily.

how about you?


just saying




i'm making pasta....necklaces today :)

so basically i'm going to paint dry pasta in poster paint (no acrylic sorry)
and varnish it if i can rumble up some clear nail varnish
and then wear it maybe tomorrow or something

Friday, November 2, 2012

Anything can happen


this song (well, the chorus anyway)
has kind of been my anthem for o levels
cos well,
evidently
anything can happen
for better or for worse

Charles Edward Fysh



There is a piece of family history i desperately want to preserve

But because of sentimental reasons, i didn;t know whether i should post it
but i so desperately wanted his story not to be forgotten
being forgotten seems like a terrible death to me
they say you die twice, when your heart stops and when someone says your name for the last time

so i decided to write it down here.
please respect this story and don;t laugh at it no matter how funny it may seem at times (or a certain time)
if you don't think you can treat this with the solemnity it deserves
please
don't read it

this is told in the words of my auntie who told me the story of Charles Edward Fysh after i mailed her a story i wrote about a death in the Singapore NS force. so here it is:

If you google Charles Edward Fysh, you will find a relative of mine, by marriage, he married Helen Flora Jane MacDougall, Granpy Mac's (my mother's mother's daddy) cousin. He was so young when he joined up to serve in the army in the First World War. He was at university and was studying mining - he would have gone abroad and made his fortune digging for gold or minerals somewhere! But he didn't, of course, and he joined the Scottish regiment as a Southern Englishman.

Then he was so brave and brilliant that he was promoted from being a Private to an acting lieutenant to a lieutenant to a captain and finally to a major at the age of 23. He was decorated with medals - mentioned in despatches and he fought in each campaign, finally at the Marne, where in his final act of heroism he died, just two months before the stupid war ended.

There's more to the story but that i decided can't be put out. It's a family secret.

unphotographable


As you all might or might not know,
i'm kind of a really lazy photographer
Any photos i take on my family's modest silver canon usually stay there until someone (usually my father) puts them in the computer or gets them developed (i prefer the tangibility)
so my friends never rely on me to pictorially document whatever events we go to. in fact, most of the photos on my facebook account are from my friends cos i find uploading photos too fiddly and time consuming
anyway, so there's this fantastic blog: http://www.unphotographable.com/
which takes pictures with words.
and i thought, hey i can do that
so here are my pictures from the past week and this gives you a rough i idea of brief flashes of o level and the times in between

1) this is a picture i didn't take of a not stunningly beautiful st Margaret's girl sitting on the bus next to her friend. the sun was shining with that evening copper colour that you get in the most beautiful music videos and movies (especially in memory sequences) and the sun shone on her hair and turned it to gold and fire and for a moment she was the most beautiful girl in the world and no one around her existed

2) this is a photograph i did not take of myself in the pouring rain as i squelched across the railway track and the pavement near it and i saw a frog, very chubby, hop along the path and dive into a small pond and swim away through the fronds of grass

3) This is a photograph i did not take of an indian man in the government park near my house, standing on his head in just trousers, with his hands folded behind his neck. He stayed like that for the duration of my walk from the pavement by the road to the gap in the hedge that leads to the train track (or as i call it, the gap)

4) This is a photograph i didn't take of my new neighbour Laurel (Lorel?) In her flowery nighty and pink crocs and with a hogwarts robe over her tiny frame lisping "i'm harry potter", showing little milk teeth and a nervous smile.

5) This is a photograph i didn't take of my self sloshing along in the rainwith a completely wet lower half of my uniform and being splashed by a car that drove through a puddle

6) This is  photograph i didn't take of indian tree pruners sprawled outside the lobby and one actually in the lobby with his head resting near the blue chair and some kind of cloth over his eyes, sleeping. And this is me, the photographer, with a strange feeling of peace as i looked at him because absolute sleep is beautiful to see and he looked so vulnerable and young. It was strange tip toeing around all their bodies to get upstairs, kind of like i was walking through the aftermath of a battle, with dead bodies strewn round.

So. more of these to come, when i feel like it. getting back into blog writing is strange but it feels good.

(p.s. to ye of little faith who deleted me off your favourites bar...PUT ME BACK ON i'm here again as you can see)

Sunday, September 23, 2012

bye



 it is roughly a month to o levels so i will bid this blog adieu. i will not be posting with any form of regularity (not that i do already) and the nest month plus will probably be very sparsely posted so yeah

bye

sunday before PSLE


Today I woke up, and, apart from the fact that my leg hurt like a war wound (because I have this infected cut thing which cannot even stand the pressure of my blanket), it was a normal day

I had bread talk chocolate buns for breakfast, and I unrolled each one before I ate it. So I was eating long strips of dough and chocolate paste. For some reason that enhances the flavour

It’s such comfort food and it was nice to have breakfast there for me.

On weekdays I usually stumble blearily from my bed and fix up some soggy cereal (last Wednesday I tried to cheer up the gloomy concoction of flaccid weetabix with some chocolate chips but it didn’t revive it in the slightest) and eat it in the oppressive silence of a 5.55am morning. It can get lonely sometimes, when all you have is a newspaper for company, and the comics take just 3 minutes to read, and sometimes they aren’t funny. The silence can be peaceful sometimes, especially if there is just a whisper of a susurrus floating round the house. Then I think deep silent thoughts in the hazy state of mind, and reflect on my often incredibly lucid dreams. But most of the time it’s just me, the newspaper, and my yellow polka dotted cup of water, the breakfast bowl and sometimes an inquisitive lizard or two.

Anyway, thank you mum, for making Sunday breakfasts a more cheerful event.

We went to church then, me wearing Shawna’s top that I had just procured last night from the quiet clothes swap we had. And my red flowery skirt which Mum made for a Chinese New Year way back when. I felt feminine and pretty, despite the fact I wore purple sneakers which didn’t exactly match.

In church, worship was very. Very. Words often escape me.

Ah, I know,

Robust

Worship was very robust.

And so was the sermon by doctor Ramesh Richards. Though for some reason at parts of his sermon I was confronted with pricks of grief and sorrow. I think it was because I felt so sad that life is so lonely, and I often wonder if I’m there for people enough. I feel sometimes useless. When others have a family crisis or a relational one all I can do sometimes is often words that seem hollow.

Anyway (this evening I’m in a particularly reflective mood.)

After church we had a clothes swap with the rest and I was pleased that some of my things were actually wanted. I took things as well, though 2 things couldn’t fit me. Fingering through all those clothes was really soothing. The nuances of the different materials somehow were a reminder of the days when I would sit in the dressing up box and wallow in the luxury of having so many different materials round me; scratchy netting, soft silk, and rough but comforting cotton and many others that I don’t know. If you are also a luxurious material connoisseur, even if only in the love for the beautiful names they have, ready Beatrix potter’s the tailor of Gloucester, which has such an array of lovely material names like: paduasoy and taffeta, satin and pompadour and lute string…go see it here ->(http://archive.org/stream/tailorofgloucest00pottuoft#page/n7/mode/2up)

Anyway, lunch was at alexander village, which is such an invigorating place but I shan’t say more because it’s more of a go-to place then a describe place.

Back home and after a brief recession into chemistry, I went down stairs to play.

Football with the boys and Victoria

Balloons and basketball with 2 little malay girls who were supposed to be having a photoshoot with their parents

Truth or dare on the trampoline

Dinner was cheesy pasta, replete with laughs.

That was a very very strange sentence but it means what it means

And what it means is that it was a hearty dinner filled with conversation, nice smells, nice sounds, strange sounds, strange sights (especially during grace time. You can see the funniest things if you take a peek at the other people who assume they are unwatched), and outbursts of songs.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

10:25 pm in co he rence





just to avoid banality and the loss of interest in my blog i decided to post something
I am a marcid noceur
i am sitting in front of a computer in a strange silence which is unusual because usually my headphones are plugged into my head filling it with music, rubbish, static and noise (all of which are different things closely related and narrowly separated)
beside me the fan is blowing on my right arm and making it cold and lifeless and i'm reminded of Merry in the LOTR because his right arm got busted when he killed a nazgul thing. but it recovered as will mine when i shower in Delicious warm water.
on my left are 2 empty kiwi skins, the remnants of a late night snack of golden kiwis yes i know you aren't supposed to eat anything 3 hours before you sleep but that's kind of impossible i think i, like a cow, have 4 stomachs.
i feel accomplished having finished 2 history essays despite being constantly distracted by 'some nights' which i tend to suddenly blare out at the top of my lungs to the volume that can be heard from downstaris apparently.
and i just found a beautiful blog of interesting words called other wordly which i think might be word play on other worldly because it's words are out of this world. you'll be seeing a startling difference in my vocabulary in time to come but not if i write things this late at ngiht
incoherence seems to be a forte nowadays but ihave noidea what ami writingoodnight
i'm
bye

too late now
going to shower
save the world and eat your greens
school tomorrow
i'm not going to be able to get out of bed
there's a word for that starting with d
the only word i can remember now from that blog is mizpah which is something romantic buti can't seem to
recall

oh gosh im going to look back on this post and reflect on my madness.

i today tried to find a word meaning someone who is and revels in dirt and grosssness but i couldn;t think
i think it's an indication of my tumble dryer mind which right now is probably having a short circuit (emily don't take physics)
ok
bye

Monday, September 17, 2012

ungrateful cat


i was stroking this cat and then it just bit me
bit me!
UNGRATEFUL >:(
now i have two parallel scratch marks on my arm
it wasn;t so much pain as shock
but i was quite put off that it didn;t appreciate me taking effort and time to stroke it and instead it scratched me
some things don;t know whats good for them (and that means me too, im not stroking that particular cat for a while)

sundays with friends and some


yesterday
was
sunday

so
after church we went to Suntec city for lunch
suntec city has alot of good memories
mainly of jan hai and fun times (http://sleepingpolicemen.blogspot.sg/2012/04/extremely-loud-and-incredibly-close.html)
and i miss those times but they are gone for now. at least til o levels are over
but yesterday i had a brief taste of a wonderful sunday just like old times
Emily and I and Christy and Rebecca walked round the fountain of wealth which i like to call the fountain of fair fortune because it's more for wishes than just money
we walked round 6 times and made 2 wishes a piece
mine were pretty predictable i guess (at least one was)
but everyone knows you can't tell you wishes or they won't come true
so i'll leave you to guess
anyway, then we went banister sliding down the fantastic banister at suntec city (for some reason this was the highlight of my day apart from later on)
there were some girls looking at us enviously, probably wishing they could revel in their youth like us but not embarrass themselves like us. i guess face won over feeling cos they didn't attempt banister sliding (to their loss)
Then emily came to my house (huzzah)
and first she had a mini fashion parade :)
and then we went down stairs and i showed her THE swing
emily was actually pretty good at it
after overcoming initial fears, she ran and delved and flew!
and though she didn't look as graceful as i envision myself looking (though now i have serious doubts) she didn't land on her bottom and she liked it which was what mattered. this was my second highlight because seriously, nothing can beat watching your best friend fly through the air before you fly through the air yourself
then we played 'kick the can' and emily and i had a hunger games moment before we were unceremoniously spotted and caught. which meant we were the nextcatchers which was horrible cos i'm lousy at that game and emily got 'lost' after she went to find people. so then i went to find her and as i was walking back with her, i stubbed my toe on the road (dont ask me how i do these things they just happen) and it bled like crazy so i had to run upstairs with emily and fix it
then me and emily had a yummy tea
emily had a white chocolate muffin and strawberry yoghurt
i had strawberry yoghurt and chocolate chips
and whilst we ate we laughed over the dramaticness of primary schooler's narrative essays

and then she went home

Thursday, September 13, 2012

tired OUT

that's what i am

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

what i do at 10:49 pm


i was so intrigued by the unicorn name generator that i had to try many other name generators

SO

Fairy Names


MIRIAM YEO
Your fairy is
Columbine Icetree
She protects the vulnerable and brings justice to the wronged.
She lives in mushroom fields and quiet meadows.
She can only be seen when the first leaves fall from the trees.
She wears lilac and purple like columbine flowers and has icy blue butterfly wings.
 
HANNAH YEO
Your fairy is
Hemlock Goblintree
She brings riches and wealth.
She lives close to vixen and badger sets.
She can only be seen when the first leaves fall from the trees.
She wears black and white like a badger and has gentle green wings like a butterfly.

TIM YEO
Your fairy is
Clover Icebranch
He protects the vulnerable and brings justice to the wronged.
He lives in clover fields where fairy rings grow.
He can only be seen when the first leaves fall from the trees.
He wears bright clover green and has icy blue butterfly wings.
 
(and cos i felt like it, i did all 3 families)

JAMES WONG
Your fairy is
Tangle Goblinleaf
He brings riches and wealth.
He lives at the bottom of tangled gardens and in hedgerows.
He can only be seen when the first flowers begin to blossom.
He wears tangled multicoloured clothes and has gentle green wings like a butterfly.

EMILY WONG
Your fairy is
Moth Cornshimmer
She creates bounty and harvest.
She lives close to caverns and stalactite grottoes.
She can only be seen when the first flowers begin to blossom.
She wears dresses stitched with crystals and has butterfly wings the colour of yellow corn.
REBECCA WONG

Your fairy is
Ember Elfshimmer
She is cheerful and friendly.
She lives where fireflies mate and breed.
She can only be seen when the first flowers begin to blossom.
She wears dresses that glow with fiery colours and has transparent green wings like a cicada.

SHAWNA WU
Feather Hailshimmer
She protects and comforts the lonely.
She lives in high places where the clouds meet the earth.
She can only be seen when the first flowers begin to blossom.
She wears pale blue like the sky and has cheery turquoise wings like a butterfly.

TOBY WU
Your fairy is
Clover Rainbowleaf
He brings good fortune.
He lives in clover fields where fairy rings grow.
He can only be seen when the first flowers begin to blossom.
He wears bright clover green and has multicoloured wings like a butterfly.

CHRISTY WU
Your fairy is
Nettle Hailshimmer
She protects and comforts the lonely.
She lives in brambles and blackberry bushes.
She can only be seen when the first flowers begin to blossom.
She wears purple and green like berries and leaves and has cheery turquoise wings like a butterfly.

Mermaid Names

MIRIAM YEO

 Plankton Mangrove Cat
(maena palus)
The eerily beautiful maena is semi-transparent and glows from within, like the plankton it feeds on.
The palus, like the sea cow, is often but not exclusively found dwelling in mangrove swamps. The palus has a favourite diet of fallen fruit from the trees.
Note: Curious, lively and fond of play, this subspecies has many cat-like qualities.
 
HANNAH YEO
Dolphin Mangrove Singer
(delphinus palus)
Often found amongst dolphins. Has the sleek, silver colour of that species. Something of a shepherdess, this variety is said to protect dolphin young from killer whales.
The palus, like the sea cow, is often but not exclusively found dwelling in mangrove swamps. The palus has a favourite diet of fallen fruit from the trees.
Note: Known for its alluring song, this variety is rarely quiet, luring sailors to their doom.

TIM YEO
 
Tiger Mangrove Cat
(tigris palus)
Characteristic wide horizontal brown and yellow-pink bands ring the tail and torso of the tigris. This type of colouring acts as a warning to predators: this subspecies is known for its sharp teeth and ferocious nature.
The palus, like the sea cow, is often but not exclusively found dwelling in mangrove swamps. The palus has a favourite diet of fallen fruit from the trees.
Note: Curious, lively and fond of play, this subspecies has many cat-like qualities.

JAMES WONG
Oyster Marine Singer
(ostrea marinus)
Has pearlescent white skin and jet black hair. Oysters form a main supplement of the diet of this subspecies, which is often found hunting rocks and crevices for tasty morsels.
This subspecies is unusually fond of small boating craft, its naturally playful tendencies sometimes leading it into trouble in shipping lanes.
Note: Known for its alluring song, this variety is rarely quiet, luring sailors to their doom.

EMILY WONG
Black Marine Stinger
(aquilus marinus)
Entirely black. Black is a predatory colour, offering disguise in shadows of rocks and clear warning when on the open sea bed.
This subspecies is unusually fond of small boating craft, its naturally playful tendencies sometimes leading it into trouble in shipping lanes.
Note: A poisonous variety - equipped with fine stinging tentacles that leave a nasty rash on the victim.

REBECCA WONG
Glimmer Marine Scales
(subluceo marinus)
With silvery scales over much of the body, the subluceo reflects light, glimmering and glinting as it reflects the sun below the waves.
This subspecies is unusually fond of small boating craft, its naturally playful tendencies sometimes leading it into trouble in shipping lanes.
Note: A particularly scaly variety - fine scales cover most of the body. This subspecies is known to be cool blooded.

SHAWNA WU
Star Marine Fish
(stellatus marinus)
A nocturnal variety, known to glisten with natural phosphorescence under the light of the stars.
This subspecies is unusually fond of small boating craft, its naturally playful tendencies sometimes leading it into trouble in shipping lanes.
Note: A gregarious variety, happiest found in a large shoal of its own kind.

TOBY WU
Tiger Marine Dancer
(tigris marinus)
Characteristic wide horizontal brown and yellow-pink bands ring the tail and torso of the tigris. This type of colouring acts as a warning to predators: this subspecies is known for its sharp teeth and ferocious nature.
This subspecies is unusually fond of small boating craft, its naturally playful tendencies sometimes leading it into trouble in shipping lanes.
Note: Romantic and graceful, this subspecies is truly a ballerina of the oceans.

CHRISTY WU
Green Marine Fish
(viridans marinus)
Has brown hair and a vivid green tail. The hair and dorsal fin offer good disguise in weed beds.
This subspecies is unusually fond of small boating craft, its naturally playful tendencies sometimes leading it into trouble in shipping lanes.
Note: A gregarious variety, happiest found in a large shoal of its own kind.

what a wonderful day


TODAY I SAW PRINCE WILLIAM :) :) :)
i was a glimpse but I SAW THEM wootwoot
after school i rushed with weixin, changing in her car (into her clothes,which i borrowed) and driving to botanic gardens
we got there just as the police convoy drove past and screamed in the car and then looked to see THEM and I SAW PRINCE WILLIAM
so we jumped out of the car and ran (literally ran) after them, me with one hand clutching the crudely made union jack crafted during my chemistry lesson, and the other holding onto my shorts so they wouldn;t fall down and cause a royal embarrassment.
we got there and there were about 50  people there. mostly british.
we waited because we weren't allowed to go in :(
and after about half an hour they came out and we saw them and i saw prince william CLEARLY and he was LESS THAN 2 METRES AWAY FROM ME and HE WAS REALLY HANDSOME and HAD A REALLY NICE SMILE and NO I COULD NOT SEE IF HE WAS BALDING I DIDN'T REALLY CARE and
wowowowow
that was an experience of a lifetime!

Monday, September 10, 2012

spritz of space


aspiring astronauts here's one more reason to preserve you 20/20 vision and join NASA

"What does space smell like?
It’s strange to think that the near-vacuum of space could have a smell, and stranger still that humans—atmospheric creatures—can actually experience it. Astronauts have consistently reported the same strange odour after lengthy space walks, bringing it back in on their suits, helmets, gloves and tools. It’s bitter, smoky, metallic smell—like seared steak, hot metal and arc welding smoke all rolled into one. NASA have asked a chemist, Steve Pearce, to reproduce the smell to use during acclimatization training, mapping out the likely chemistry using natural materials to mimic the odor for accuracy. It’s believed that the smell is caused by high-energy vibrations in particles that mix with the air when brought inside. In the future, we might even recreate the smell of the moon, Mars, Mercury or any place in the universe, provided we have the right chemical information. In fact, we can even recreate the smell of the heart of the galaxy—astronomers searching for animo acids in Sagittarius B2, a vast dust cloud in the middle of the Milky Way, have reported that due to a substance called ethyl formate, it smells and tastes of raspberries and rum—much more pleasant than seared steak and metal."

http://sciencesoup.tumblr.com/post/26870917512/what-does-space-smell-like-its-strange-to-think

MMMM
i want to go to america
and walk the streets of New york in cool shorts/ crazy sweater/ embellished skirts
and no one will give you the "hello?!" stare
because it seems like that happens all the time

LIKE HERE!!!
one of the best DIY blogs i;ve seen, absolutely love it "http://apair-andaspare.blogspot.sg/"

DIY INSPIRATION: ON THE STREETS OF #NYFW
It's been a busy few days in New York and I can't help but be inspired by all the truly amazing fashion I've seen around me. Naturally, seeing so many beautiful things makes me want to run out and buy it all, but a girl's gotta eat right? So here are a few cheap and chic ideas for how to get the look from the street, without blowing the budget.

Ripped and painted denim shorts? Yes please!
(This is miriam here: check out the necklaces!and also how many people do you knwo that wear green on a regular basis? I only know hannah, and she only wears a skirt, and she isn't counted cos she's special-or maybe she counts too much to be able to be counted. ok never mind i'm tripping myself up)

I'm so going to dress up a simple white tee using pretty fabric scraps.
(This is miriam here: this is actually practical and singapore wearable. After o level project i foresee)
Not so easy, but a DIY lace skirt is on my radar. Stat.
(This is miriam here: casual and classy? i like! but somehow i have this feeling that i won;t pull it off.still i'll try one day and see. perhaps. perhaps.)


Can't wait to add a detachable sheer layer to my skirts!
(this is miriam here: i'm intrigued by her hair!)


Why just go for one embellishment? Add coins, pom poms, gold lace and ribbon to your skirt asap.
(This is miriam here: i can't describe how much i love this. I'M GOING TO MAKE THIS IF I HAVE TO TRY 5 TIMES)
ADR's accessories collection for H&M is killer (so I hear), and these gold sunglasses scream painted plastic alligators glued onto a pair of simple sunnies. Yep yep.
(this is miriam here: sadly, no one wears sunglasses in singapore, though it's totally and absolutely practical! maybe i'll set a nation wide trend! haha. watch out for the girl with the golden sunglasses after the o levels. i'll be sashaying down the streets with babling babling shining from my eyes)