4 eva

Today in lit class i was saying something (as usual) and i realised i said 'forever, for life'

and i thought how strange that was.

It was like i was equating eternity with life which is really so so SO fleeting.

Usually we live very in ourselves. But sometimes i like thinking about me in the whole wide world . I picture me exactly where i am and then i 'zoom out' to the whole room and then to the whole country and then the the whole globe and then to the whole entire MILKY WAY and the coolest thing is i can't go beyond that even thought there IS a beyond that but its just so darn BIG. It makes me quite giddy and i get the sudden cold rush i get when i miss a step or go over a road bump (a sleeping policeman ha ha) too fast

But yes.

Its also calming. Suddenly you aren't in a library, or a train, a an examination hall. Suddenly you're flying above the universe, your consciousness suspended and your definition of self diminished. You're completely powerless and wise at the same time, and for a split second you aren't completely real-you're an observer of reality and YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE

Things like your hunger or your thirst and your stress all become so pointless

And yet the people you love still shine brighter than all the stars in the galaxy

Some people just sparkle

On Sunday i met a young couple in church (well, older than me, but just married last year)

Jane (The wife. Obviously.) came up to me first, just smiling at me which i was a ittle perturbed by at first because i had that slight panicky "i should know you why do i not know you?" feeling until i realised i didn't know her and she was just being friendly.

She just talked to me and for some reason the way she talked and laughed and made everything seem wonderful was so refreshing. And then Steven came along and he talked and he was so sincere and ernest and funny at the same time.

Atone point they were talking about universities, and because our canteen is rather crowded, Steven kept having to get Jane to repeat what she and I had said

The conversation went something like this:

J: So what do you want to study in University?

M: I don't know...I was thinking cultural history or cultural journalism-

J: That is so cool that is really cool Steven did you hear that thats so cool

S: What?

J: She said she wants to study culture in university thats so cool

S: Oh

J: I did linguistics and engineering

M: Nice, what did Steven do?

J: He did economics

M: Oh...math ugh

J: Yeah math ugh (looks sideways at Steven)

S: What?

J: I told her i did linguistics and engirneering and you did economics and she doesn't like math either

S: Sorry i didn't catch that?

J: I said i love you


I think its weird that i feel so attracted to a married (read: Old) couple but honestly their conversation and their personality was just so iridescent and they were so genuine i couldn't help but be drawn in

shattered glass

 

I have a friend who is such a beautiful writer, she write poems and the words drip off the pages, and you feel like you've opened your eyes twice-its the feeling you get you've been watching the television for a long time and the program ends and you look out the window and realise that real life is so much more real, and wonder why you spent so much time watching projections dance in a constructed reality.

Anyway, this is part of  one of her poems (which happens to be my favourite), as well as one of my favourite picture series on mymodernmet.com-sunsets on shattered mirrors

We were always fragments of glass,

Shattered pieces of each other,

A slice of the moon – pure, simple,

But still broken,

But still unreachable.

You asked me how I wanted to resolve this,

Kill the grey areas – fathomless, tumultuous,

So we laid out our clauses and clarifications,

Diplomatic, daintily civil agreements,

Until there was nothing but white

And white.

But darling, I loved those grey areas, intricacies of a

Timeless time, space-less space

Loved getting lost in our little games of

Immense consequentiality, mere triviality;

Complications in a quaint little maze.

In other news, someone i know but don't really know seems to have discovered words and every i hear him speak i'm amazed (and perhaps slightly jealous) at how passionately they race out of him, and how eager he is to bring them to life. 

And in other news, with other people i find myself at a loss for words.

flowers everywhere

There's been a flower explosion in Singapore

Flowers EVERYWHERE

You walk through a shady area and you literally wave through a sea of pink and white and brown

The flowers die as quickly as they bloom, making all this life and joy slightly sad tinged until of course you get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of petals all around you and just revel in it all, forgetting about its likely death tomorrow.

I picked one up and pressed it in my planner-a remembrance

Hi clairekho

Here's to Claire Kho one of the weirdest people i know who has this strange way of looking cute even when she's being spastic and who always reads my blog THANKS COKHO CLAIRNEL (I just thought of that i think it's pretty cool hehehe ok)

Things Claire is actually really good at:

1) Making you feel comfortable
2) Making you feel crazy
3) Making you laugh
4) Taking charge when things are important (GREAT JOB ON THE HAUNTED HOUSE)
5) Econs
6) ha ha ha
7) Math
8) That was not a joke
9) Decorating bags (unlike me...who burns them D: )
10) Cheering people up

YOU ARE LIKE A RAY OF SUNSHINE THAT SOMETIMES GIVES PEOPLE SUMMER MADNESS BUT ALWAYS MAKES THEM GLAD THAT IT'S NOT RAINING

LOVE YOU WEIRDO

Baptism photos

The best things about my baptism:

1) Talking to Auntie Effie afterward

2) Meeting the nursery lady in the toilet after drying off and changing and being so blessed by her help

3) Giving my testimony and reliving my own christian journey as i shared it

4) Seeing Grandma's smile

5) Christy's hug and her delicious delicious chocolate chip muffins (Sometimes hugs are actually the best things-they say so much just when you need them to)

6) Emily's azaleas and her completely beautiful message (It made me tear up i can't put into words how much love i felt when i read it and how happy i was that she was there and how perfect it is that she is my friend i love her so much :') )

hairsay

Hi world i just cut my own hair and i am ridiculously proud of that