happiness

So i found THIS on one of my favourite tumblrs of all time and basically i think its wonderful and true. I think i struggle most with number 1, because i often let embarrassment get in the way of cool bean-ness. I actually do find everything cool, but i also feel like the world has a different variation of cool than me (our wavelengths are not in sync) and if i express my cool i will be deemed uncool which would suck i don't know why. (which is why i have besties who understand my kind of cool.) anyway i shall try to undo that strange self esteem-accountability-to-the-world habit and perhaps i'll be happier than i already am (which is rather to be completely honest. Rather RATHER happy)

1. Find Everything Cool

I know that the cardinal rules of youth-hood is to find everything lame, but believe me when I say this: having a boogie to ABBA at your Grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary is a hell of a lot more fun than sitting by the side rolling your eyes. So is joining in on an impromptu three-legged race, or learning about the Humpback whale, or cooking with your mother. I’m telling you now, finding interest in anything life shows you is hands-down the easiest, greatest, most stimulating way to always remain in the state of happiness. Why are you hating on boybands and vegans and Doctor Who? So you’re not a big fan of chess or basketball or whatever it is that doesn’t get your heart racing, that doesn’t mean its lame. Looking down on things and the people who support them will only make you and everyone around you feel sad. So, next time someone asks you to go kite-flying with them, say yes. For gods sake, kites are freaking cool!

2. Forget To Be Sad

This one might take some practice for those kids who are just really talented at holding grudges, but take my word for it: wallowing in sadness or anger or any other emotions pertaining to unhappiness is HARD WORK. It’s literally really exhausting. The saddest people in this world are the ones who spend hours reliving all the injustice cast upon them, all the mean things people have said, all the bad luck thrust upon them. Please, for the love of god, allow yourself to forget it. Just let it go. As a kid, whenever I fought with my sister, it was over the next day because we always forgot we were mad at each other. I’d say “Want to go shopping with me today?” and then a few minutes later think “Damn it, I was supposed to be angry at her. Oh well, too late now.” It’s now my philosophy. So you didn’t get invited to a sleepover, or you left your sunglasses on the train. Ah well, ce’est la vie. There are so many forces in the world conspiring against your happiness, how dare you let them win! Refuse to be sad, just outright refuse.

3. Be Selfish Without Being Self-Centered

This one is by far the trickiest tip, mainly because this is something I am still significantly struggling with every day. I’m a strong believer in being selfish, which may sound a bit odd to you, but hear me out. Being selfish is about thinking about yourself, for yourself. It’s about identifying the things that will bring you happiness, and then actively pursuing them. Being self-centered, however, is about identifying and actively pursuing these things without thinking about other people. Happiness isn’t achieved in isolation, but it can also be significantly hindered when you don’t do things for yourself either. See that balance? Yeah, I think it’s pretty much the most difficult thing to balance in the world, and like I said, I’m still working on it.

Naturally, these are just the things that I strive to do in my life, and I believe they play a significant role in making me a happier person. Of course, everyday I am working on them. I’m still trying to find everything interesting, (like, have you ever studied linguistics, seriously?). There are still many things I try not to be sad about. And I definitely have days where I think being a push-over would make myself easier. At the end of the day, it’s not about denying yourself of the bad emotions, because I don’t think happiness is the absence of sadness. I think happiness is the conquering of sadness, again and again and again.

If you have any other tips on happiness, please let me know, because despite what my Year 8 peers would have you believe, there are days when I struggle with being happy too.