This is late but the past few days have been such a flurry of activity that it has been hard to find time to actually write.
On Friday night I had a terrible dream where I got 3B3s, 3A2s and 3F9s for A levels (although I don't even take that many subjects) and a distinction for my history H3 and a merit for my Lit H3. And on Sunday the verse that kept popping into my head was 2 Corinthians 2:19 "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
With A level results coming out I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to rejoice if I was disappointed. I was terrified of what a moment of weakness would do to my faith. I was terrified that all the happiness I had been basking in would turn into a snowball of confusion and squash me flat.
But I was so wrong. So, so wrong. God had such a beautiful and wonderful plan for me and I worried all for nothing.
I stepped into the hall, my insides felt like they were being whirled around by a heritage blade and my heart felt like a hummingbird's wing beat. I held Claire's hand really tight and tried not to listen as people around me joked about how well I would do because the pressure was really getting to me and I couldn't allow myself to hope.
And then they announced the top student of ACJC, who was also the top Arts student,
Who was me.
I stood up, a roaring feeling in my stomach. Everything felt surreal and extremely loud but incredibly far away and I was just really full of wonderment.
'Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.' Indeed. (James 1:17)
I stepped onto stage to collect my A level certificate from Ms Chong, who told me to never stop shining for Him, and then stood on the podium. Getting there was a bit of a hassle because (from SC honours day and AC honours night experience) I do very badly on stage and so after the hug and kind words from Ms Chong I sort of took a step forward and then a step back to ask her if I was supposed to stay on stage or go off. Some things never change.
Standing on the podium, it was amazing to see my friends come up to join me and to look at the sea of people who had seen me through JC life. One of the coolest things that happened that day was that the top science student who came up and stood beside me, was a girl who once saved me with her umbrella during a thunderstorm. Two dripping girls under an umbrella became two girls standing awkwardly on a podium with the biggest academic blessing ever held in their hands. God never fails to surprise me - and he has a wicked sense of humour too!
After that came a series of things to tick off my bucket list - doing a radio interview for a Chinese radio station (I wrote a script with han yu pin yin to help), doing an interview for the Straits' Times and doing an interview for the school paper. I also tried to buy another honey waffle but the auntie had closed her shop for the day. I also told the security guard my good news after he asked how I did, and thanked him for letting me into school every day. They were so happy for me - the Indian uncle and the Chinese uncle - and I was so happy that they could share this with me. I promised to come back, but the Chinese uncle said I could only come back if I ride my bicycle like old days haha.
I can't believe what God has done - he has built me up from an Accident and Emergency Baby, to a girl so shy she wouldn't talk, to a new and excited girl in two amazing schools, to the top girl in the school's A levels. Truly from a face in the crowd to one the crowd faces.
All glory to God.
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