Fat talk

I know i'm thin and i know that i'm most definitely not fat
But
that doesn't mean i always believe it, or think it's enough
And so, sometimes i forget to appreciate the beautiful body God gave me, and selfishly wish i could look prettier, skinnier, fairer, and just more aesthetically appealing.
And so, at the end of last year and beginning of this year, i was awfully conscious about my weight.
I'd look at the airbrushed photos of beautiful models like Barbara Palvin , and compare my own disheveled self with them.
I'd wish for thinner thighs, prominent cheek bones. I'd check if i had a thigh gap, if my fingers could encircle my wrists, if my stomach protruded out of my shorts.
I didn't do anything stupid like starve myself or exercise like crazy. I like food much too much for that
But I'd just wish that i looked different
And although i got over it somewhat because i decided to fast from looking at ridiculously perfect model pictures, and stop myself from wishing i looked like them, my bad conception continued unconsciously, because i'd tag instagram photos with hashtags like "fat", or "calories" or "immabecomefat" and things like that, indirectly guilt tripping myself whenever i ate something unhealthy.
But thank God for chastising me for my silliness. He told me through a friend that my actions were not only stupid, but dangerous.
Every time i posted a hashtag like that, i'd guilt trip other people too. Every time i lamented about my size, I'd make other people compare themselves to me, and think that they too had to wish to be thinner. Which is why is stopped. why let other people suffer from this same debilitating self deprication that plagues me on and off? Why let others think they re less beautiful than they actually are?
No more fat tags for me ever ever ever