worried weeks

 W.B Yeats

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths, 

Enwrought with golden and silver light, 

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths 

Of night and light and the half light, 

I would spread the cloths under your feet: 

But I, being poor, have only my dreams; 

I have spread my dreams under your feet; 

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. 

I've been worrying so much over THE FUTURE 

especially scholarships and such

because frankly Singapore suffocates me but to get out i need money and to get money i need to be brainy

and yet my math grades are rather unfortunate and i feel slightly out of control of everything else

it got to a point where i was telling myself in the past two weeks 'you are so stupid' everyday

And then

my birthday happened

And in the cards people wrote there was such an incredible outpouring of love that i couldn't bear to continue hurting myself so much

And of course i still worry after all my first proper intellectual interview for the PSC scholarship is next week

but i feel a little more confident and a little more motivated (math everyday from now on)