Sunday, March 17, 2013

Struggles


On my first morning of JC, my mum told me, " Don't fall in love on the first day"
I thought she was silly and i told her "of course not, who do you think i am?"
Because, really, I'm Miriam, book worm, choir girl and closet romantic.
I fall in love of course but i never expect people to fall in love with me
so since the feeling isn't mutual (and since it isn't based on real substance, more like passing flights of fantasy) the so-called 'romance' usually peters out quite quickly.
And so i alsways tell myself, ignore it, because you know its something that'll be over in a few months
and usually i'm pretty good at that

But since i've come to JC
i've realised that having someone actually like you like you might not be as wonderful as i always thought it would be
Cos you might like that person back
which would be a no-no especially if that person wasn't a christian
on top of school work and everything
and the fact that suddenly you realise woah i'm only 16
and then the process of rejecting is something you'd feel terrible about and ugh everything goes wonky and horrible and you feel like a mean person through and through

But if by some amazing providence (like in my case)
That person is a nice person who hangs out and talks with you afterward anyway
then it might not be as terrible as you thought.

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