private affair

today i had a 'private' recess with weixin and ellis (basically meaning it was just the three of us and not with the others at the noisy rowdy canteen table)
instead of trooping down to the charged-atmosphere canteen, summoning stamina to endure 50 minutes of being crazy and high with the rest, i walked peacefully with weixin (ellis went to buy food first) to the gallery which was quiet and breezy and serene.
i loved it
it was so wonderful to have a recess where it was just us three and it was so much less draining and so much more real
i didn;t have to put on a facade of high spirits, rather i was myself.
i talked and laughed when i wanted to, and even read my book (anti social behavior i know i am terrible) occasionally because i knew they wouldn;t mind because it was miriam to do that and miriam is their friend <3
i feel so at ease with just them and much as i love the rest to bits for their gigglyness it can sometimes be a bit overwhelming (which is when i start writing angsty blogposts) and so it was great to have a break where i was still interacting with them (some of them at least) but i wasn;t straining to keep up with the cheer, you know what i mean?
we had blueberrymuffins and talked about the idiosyncracies of our teachers and tried to play the piano (well, i tried to play it, ellis actually played it.)
and although i usually go up 5 minutes before the end of recess, this time i didn;t even realise (or really care) and stayed til the last bell rung
anyway, for those stressed/lonely/disappointed at bad social study SBQ test results, i prescribe a recess with close friends because
they love you and you love them back (but for some reason you never tell them how much you value them except in blogposts/letters)
anyway
ONGWEIXINANDELLISYEELISI
LETS HAVE ANOTHER PRIVATE RECESS SOON.
like next week or next next week