the not so fantastic picnic

Last monday was planned picnic day.

I don;t know, maybe my escapist mind had great expectation but somehow everything felt (to me at least, i do hope the others had a good time) flat and shallow and exasperating

After shopping in the morning, we got home and i started preparing for the picnic.
I was so disappointed that most of my frends didn't help AT ALL. or even offer.
only weixin and ellis were most kind and helped prepare the milo and carry the things downstairs.grace was also sweet and tried to help here and there. and she made potato salad which is a plus point

later my sister told me that while i was going round frantically finding picnic mats and getting food and drinks ready, most of my friends were in the lounge taking photographs without me.
having fun while i was toiling for their subsequent enjoyment.

to quote romeo and juliet

"God's bread! it makes me mad!"

and what was worse was that my MOTHER was also helping and working and preparing with me, heating up the apple pie, directing me ellis and weixin as we made the milo.

suffice to say my mother and sister and brother have a very bad impression of my friends and only consider ellis, weixin, grace to be nice girls

later when we were eating the picnic, i just felt the conversation was so meaningless, you know?
about boys and stuff and i didn't even need to listen
so while we played truth or dare i just focused on the apple pie.

and then one person started talking about sick stuff and i was so grossed out i put my fingers in my ears which is rude but i hate it when people talk so crassly and make light of issues with such gravity.
What makes it worse is that the bible said flee from sexual immorality in corinthians(which i suppose includes listening to such things) and i know i don't always manage to but when i do, i do.

i don't know.
the picnic just made me so disappointed with my friends.
i begin to question if they really are my friends.
i know i wouldn't tell all of them my secrets, my hopes and fears and stories.
only ellis and weixin i would tell but i don't think i would confide in any of the others.

i don't know.

i could probably count on one hand the girls in SCGS i'd really trust to confide in.
ellis
yings
chari
weixin
(megan doesn't count cos she isn't in SCGS)
(emily also doesn't count cos i consider her a chirch/childhood friend not a school friend <3)

I don't know

may be i just need a break from that group

whirling

Today was (how to describe it) carefree and bright.
After finishing homework (some of it), i went down stairs to meet shana (the banana) to play

I got down and sat on the trampoline to wait.
to take up time i swept the leaves from the trampoline and blew the feathers off too. They were down feathers and very soft, because down feathers are the kind of feathers that are close to a birds body to keep it warm.
then i lay on the trampoline-which is a very comfortable thing to do because the trampoline bends and shapes itself to your body to your back is not arched awkwardly- and stared at the sky and the telephone wire and the tree and the corner of the roof and just thought about how long it had been since I'd been downstairs and how i missed relaxing like that and when was shana going to come?

At last shana came (she was a bit late because she had been chasing a horn bill) and we jumped on the trampoline a bit (and i can still do a front flip :) )
then we went to shana's swing which is the most thrilling thing
It's a long piece of sturdy rope attached to a tree. At the bottom, the rope is tied in a loop twice so you can sit on it . There are also two knots at convenient places so you can hold on above the first knot(if you are tall) and the second(if you are not so tall)

Shana swung individually for a while I stood and slapped at mosquitoes.

Then i went on with her. We did a special way of swinging where we both ran, i would jump off the hill first and then shana would be pulled off by my weight, so we would swing round in two arcs (kind of like DNA's double helical structure) around part of the circumference of the hill and then land back on the other side of the hill.

shana had to go to the toilet then so i swung individually, with my arms looped through the loop so i didn;t have to hold so tight to the rope (my hands were already blistering)

it is the most wonderful feeling to rush through the air, like you are the end of a conker or a yo yo being whirled around by and excited child, but in a much more controlled and sophisticated (not nearly the right word but close enough) manner.

As you swing through the air you are flung out, so you are just dependent on the rope and you don;t need to think about maneuvering because there is nothing you can do except go with the rope.
And then as the opposite side of the hill rushes to wards you that's where you have to think fast or you might land (as i have done before) on your bottom, which is funny and not as uncomfortable as you would think but humiliating all the same.

Then shana came back and after a few more breathtaking swings, we saw a monkey.

There has been a lone monkey going round the neighbourhood the past days and it was fascinating to see it close (about 10 metres away) It was eating tree bark and climbing on the telephone wire (and sliding down the telephone pole, fireman style) and doing strange rotor movements with its tail. Shortly, it disappeared into some bushes at the side of the road, whereupon shana took it as her responsibility to warn anyone passing that there was a monkey in the bushes and to please be careful.

One man we warned was so shocked that he dropped his motorbike helmet.
After picking it up, he dropped it again when shana made "ooh ooh aah aah" monkey noises.
i don't think he was amused by shana.

Then we played kick the can with the boys.
when Ned was 'it' shana and i hid on the trampoline by lying belly down on it. as we were lying there, i felt someone underneath the trampoline, someone who bumped the trampoline so it wobbled.

"who's that?"

and Dana, shana's helper came out laughing like anything.

i was amazed and so was shana and we had a giggling fit for a while then remembered that since we were hiding we should be quiet.

when i went upstairs, i did stretching (ballet on Tuesday) and to my delight, i was pretty flexible (in comparison to the past)

so all in all, a good day.

a whirly swirly fun day.

YBC 2012

The pictures describe most of it.
apart from the  message and workshops and worship and lunch and jamming afterwards :)
i can't really put it into words but as i was leading worship (for our god is greater) i saw a sight that truly lifted my spirit and reminded me how amazing God and how much love he pours on us individually and how poweerfully we are capable of responding to that love.

one week with my mother

So basically, this week daddy, hannah and tim went to malaysia for church camp (while i was stuck in singapore becasue of extended curriculum) but you know whta? i stayed at home with my mum and it was fun, just the two of us.

One day we went for dinner at Great World City.
It was awesome :)
we had dinner from the Soupery in the food court ( i had chicken stew, she had chicken curry) and we just ate and talked and my mother noticed a couple who were talking yet not talking. The guys was spewing out words like a machine gun and he was really passionate about everything he was saying but his girlfriend (or maybe even wife, unfortunately) just wasn;t listening.
i thought it was pretty sad on both sides.
the girl was stuck with a guy who wouldn;t shut up about something that bored her pants off,
the guy was stuck with a girl who wouldn;t make the effort to interest herself in somehting he loved

then, we went to the Body Shop, which is something i always love because the aromas that permeate the Body shop are just so beautiful.
its a mix of love and humanity. a scent of earth and charity.
it just calms me down and transcends my thoughts and digs deep and says 'you're safe, you're loved'

sorry, i'm babbling.

after my mother's (ever futile) search for a nice scent, we went to marks and sparks to look at trousers (for my mother, my budget does not cover a $100 pair of pants)

and then we went to da paolo to get a chocolate scone and spaghetti sauce for the next night's dinner.

I don;t know, it was a simplenday out and something we do almost every sunday but it was so relaxed and simple and pleasing (the fact that my mother took time out to spend with me <3) that just warmed my heart.

I did other silly things with my mum too, like making paper waterbombs (taught from the 'dangerous book for boys' ) and dropping them off the edge of the balcony.

it's times like these where i remember how much my mum actually is like me and how we do share common interests .

<3 my mother.

i shall defend her always.\

sing it from the heart

i dream of a special celebration day where at a certain specified time in the day everyone in every country spontaneously stands up and sings this song.

or, alternatively, we are the world.

it shall be called 'world have your song' day.

or, alternatively, 'the singing'

Diamond jubilee

this is me trying to connect with my britishness

baby i love you so much that i would run to you

this is what i classify as a good commercial

wise words from my mother

Never get a boyfriend that you'd be ashamed to bring home

last meal

if you had to choose your last meal for ever what would you eat?

I think i would have:
-my daddy's double boiled chicken soup
-auntie sheila's shepherd's pie
-my mum's chicken pilaf
-da paolo chocolate scone
-island creamery banana and reverso
-strawberries
-watermelon
all to be eaten over a period of 5ish hours within which i would watch 'life is beautiful' and talk to my family and friends.

no sleep tonight

(photo courtesy of toby's tumblr again.)
i couldn't sleep well at all last night because for some horrible reason i was plagued with dreams that kept making me wake up.
First, i was at some weird lake that turned from white to purple upon human contact, and i was on a really shallow boat (almost like a leaf really) and when it was just about to tip over i woke up with that swooping feeling in my stomach that you get when you miss a step.
when i did manage to sleep again, i dreamt i was eating chocolate mousse/ice cream with my grandma in the cafe in ixworth and it was dusk and there were clowns doing weird tricks outside the window with lassos made of fire.
Some where after that i woke up again.
and when i feel asleep, i was one of the clowns and jan hai was there i we were packing up the stuff.
then we were walking up the steps to my house, and i had this horrible certainty that Jan hai had absolutely no idea who i was. i had become a stranger to him.
It was horrible
then i said (in my dream) 'Heem" which is what he calls tim and me (for some reason we have the same name, but hannah is ah nah)
and he knew and he let me carry him and gave this happy little sigh and said "heem" too.
and it was like home coming.
i miss jan hai so much :'(

this is love

Teddy Roosevelt’s diary entry from the day his wife died. He never spoke of her death again.

I am waiting for the light.

too beautiful

Some one said, in response to this picture:
whats the meaning behind that picture of the girl sitting in the train
To me, "the girl in the train"  is an endlessly fascinating picture, not because it is a love story; (in fact, I don’t think the person who took the photo was particularly in love with this girl), but rather that in the short time they spent together, he still remembers her. I think it’s a feeling we can all relate to; there is no English word for it. It’s a sort of curiosity, but also a longing, a sadness that we will never know.
It makes us think of the all the people we have met, even if it was for just a moment, and we wonder how their lives are now. Your first friend in kindergarten, your 3rd grade teacher, the boy who picked up your purse when you dropped it. They are as equally alive as you are, and they have a story you’ll never hear.
This picture captures the tragedy of human interaction, but also the beauty. And I think that is the meaning of the picture of the girl sitting in the train

Molten lava cakes

inauguration of hannah's 18th birthday dinner,
miriam is trying to make molten centred chocolate lava cakes
BUT
i don;t have ramekins
or good grade chocolate
so.
i've made major adjustments which might screw up everything so i'm scared.
very scared

Resonance

today toby played the french horn during the service, for the prelude, offertory and postlude.
i really liked the sound, because it was well rounded, and to some extent, muted.
as in not blaring and raucous but quietly reverberant.
there were some slight mistakes but that made the sound more organic so it didn't really matter.
and it was such a nice change to the normal offertory etc.
i really hope our church introduces more interesting instruments to play during service because good music prepares my heart for a good sermon.
so, great job toby :)

drama mamamaaaa

One of the best times i;ve had with you emily was making that insane chinese drama in the car.
for those unaware, me and emily are on our way to channel 8 stardom because we have made the best and most cliched chinese drama in the history of mankind.
basically a girl called Chee Cheong Fun is madly in love with this guy called Xiao Long Bao but they can't get together and Xiao Long Bao tries to leave her in the rain.
Chee Cheong Fun is devastated and runs after him but slips in the rain and falls, grazing her elbow.
Xiao long bao realises how vulnerable she is and rushes back with a plaster, and almost professes his love to her when
LIGHTNING STRIKES
and Chee cheong fun 'loses her memory' and is rushed to hospital.
there xiao long bao vows to help her regain her memory.
he does, teaching her her ABCs, 123s, and DO RE MIs.
then after she has completely regained her memory the doctor tells them she didn;t lose it at all it was just concussion.
XIao long bao asks Chee cheong fun to marry him and she of course
DISAGREES
because she is an orphan and she wants her parents to be at her wedding so they have to find her parents first
judging from chee cheong fun's hair colour, hair parents are north korean so they immediately book flights to DPRK.
when she gets of the airplane, one of the airport security guards starts crying and says "chee cheong fun, is it you?''
and she says "father, FAATHERRRRRRRRR"
and runs to him with open arms and a plastic grin and wind blowing her hair everywhere but her face.
and thats where it ended...
TO BE CONTINUED

SHOPPING

Just went shopping with WEIXIN
and bought nice stuff and blew alot of money but feeling really happy and excited to wear new stuff and clear out old stuff
and also i bought these shoes which have a wedge so it makes me really tall (taller than my dad) so i'm kinda scared of wearing them but i like them so much so i shall but still
and also i kind of went crazy and bought alot of socks.
And also i made my own bag in MUJI which is fun and affordable and i want to do it again :)
and i also feel really bad for paying the famous amos guy $4.90 in coins (mostly 10 and 4 cent coins) so he got scolded by the lady next to him for counting too slowly but oh well.
Also i wore my tie dye top adn its so bright and colourful i think it made me happier.
i also noticed that most Singapore people wear dark colours why is that?
I am now resisting the urge to eat all 200 grams of the no nut chocolate chip famous amos cookies i bought for hannah.
it is hard so i am eating grapes instead.
I feel happy cos i bought presents for Emily, Cheezty and Hannah :)
and me of course.
For me i bought:
*a flower dress in Forever 21
*a pair of pink pants from Forever 21
*pink socks from Muji
*blue socks from Muji
*a bag from Muji that says "consider the lilies of the valley...they do not toil neither do they spin. Matt 6:28"
*stripy socks from art box
*beth shoes from far east (the wedge ones)
*espadrilles from new look

For my friends i bought stuff but i'm not writing it here because then the surprise will be spoilt :)

YAY. i used to think i was a lousy shopper because i am loathe to spend so much but since i haven;t been shopping for myself in an age, this time i wasn;t constantly plagued with financial worries :)

the next time i go shopping for myself will be after o levels when i try and find a prom dress/shoes.

til then.

BOLD HUES

my life seems to be running in technicolour nowadays.
i wake up and the light is so yellow, and the bathroom is so green and the car is so blue.
then in school i'm confronted with a sea of marble red because of the courtyard stones, which clashes with the flashes of blue as the students run.
and when i sing the majulah singapura the bland beige fills my mind.
History is red for rich and interesting and coolsome
Lit is powder blue or teal for an odd feeling of melancholy because for some reason my literatureness is stagnating
Chinese is a
Math is a sharp sunflower yellow because its so constant and almost comforting in its sureness (i am enjoying math so much more than i used to. Also, i found out that my e math teacher is a JAZZ SINGER who sells her CD in the shop called gramophone!!!)
Bio is a perky quirky orange because it is a happy subject
Chem is a dark brooding purple with streaks of turquoise because despite it being a fun subject with the funniest and best chem teacher ever, the chem SPA this friday is right now casting a worrying shadow over me.
English is a sexy purple because it is a cool language and my teacher is (in her own words) a cool mama :)
Social studies is coral pink because its so surprising and weird and cool things happen like finding out that you teacher used to work in a Red Indian reservation
then the bus is a mixture of baby blue and pink because i always feel really vulnerable on the bus for some reason.
then walking home is a light, sea green because i fell free and enlightened just as i walk.
there's my colour palette of a day

Sports day 2012

This year's sports day was absolutely AMAZING
okay, it was hot, but as James said "these burns are good' because THEY ARE TESTIMONY OF A WONDERFUL DAY
first, my class (which i have already told you, is they most unfit class in the level) won the 4x100 race! :)
and i was first runner, followed by isabella, then hannah, then kasee.
of which only one of us (bella) was a sports person.
and then we played inter class soccer under the hot hot sun (hence the slight burns despite the sun cream caked on)
and the soccer was really fun because it wasn;t competitive in the slightest because none of us really know how to play soccer properly.
and then we went to DA PAOLO (mamma mia) and pigged out on (in my case) a chocolate chip scone.
and then we went to wei xin's house and played card games and watched it's complicated (which was very funny and also, i think, made me relook at adults because sometimes they don;t know what they really want either)

Mothers' day

My mother loves me and i love her back. <3
today for mother's day hannah made pancakes, i set the table (blue and white coloured themed) and timmy washed up.
and my mum was happy.

chime on

I love it how at 12:00, on the first day of every month, the bells will chime.
today i was in the bathroom when it happened, and i just stood still and looked at the leaves and trees that are outside the bathroom and breathed deep and reminded myself that it was a new month, a new beginning, and that my house truly is beautiful and i can'tbelievewemighthavetomoveoutonedaysoon

Auntie Cecilia, my modern day angel

Auntie cecilia, after many long years of being my mentor and comfort, is gone back to phillipines.
nothing can express. she was so too absolutely dear to me.
She was a fantastic christian, a real prayer warrior, and she was so steadfast and certain about her faith that she'll forever be a shining axample to me all i really want to be like her as a christian.
may god bless her.
this prayer is for her.

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Toe the line

Last week i experienced a episode of grace.
So.
My class is renowned as being the most unfittest class in the level.
therefore, since class points kinda depend on sportiness, we are pretty much trailing behind all classes.
but then there's me
not to boast or anything, but because of my class' gross unfitness, i have become one of the fittest people in my class and therefore try for most of the sport things to get some points for the class.
so i was due for long jump try outs.
being a trampoline gymnast, i thought this was something i just might be able to do (not qualifying for the 100 metre dash, and getting 8th position for the 800 metre)
so the thing about the long jump is that after you run up, the place you launch from cannot be across a certain line.
so.
i jumped.
all three times i jumped i cleared the jumps of the other contestants by at least a few centimetres'
but every time i jumped, i crossed the line, by about a toe
the disappointment was crushing.
but when the PE teacher announced "no jump" for the third and final time (no more chances) someone piped up
'you should give miriam another chance'
and then others were agreeing and before i knew there was a steady chorus of
'yes'
'another chance'
'she deserves it'
and the teacher actually cleared me to the semis (which, in case you were wondering, i didn;t clear because-horror of horrors-i crossed the line, AGAIN, but i knew this time it was over and i wasn;t even sad, strangely, given that i'm fiercely competitive usually)
and i couldn;t help thinking how it was just like Jesus.
I was condemned to hell (or disqualification) but he saved me and gave me an undeserved chance, just like how that girl got support for me to get to the semis.
it was a modern day miracle, again.

Imagine

The choir concert was so inexpressibly incredible.
I arrived at around 3 at school for warm ups and a run through and then we joined the HCI choir and had dinner and prep
and then it was showtime
Our line up for choral was:
1) Danny Boy (Irish)
2) Kwae Jina Ching Ching (korean)
3) Morning Star (Hungarian)
4) Kalinka (Russian)
5) Salve regina (Sacred latin)
6) Aunu Aunu Balti Kajas (Latvian)
7) Shenandoah (American)
8) Keindahan Taman (Malay)

We started fairly strong, and grew better and better. I personally loved Salve regina. I imagined a court scene where a jew was being persecuted unfairly due to discrimination over his faith, before a kind and impassioned soul pleaded on his behalf and he was spared. (i tend to think up narratives to go with the songs so i can really express the emotions encompassed in the songs) when we sing salve regina more often than not i feel like the music is washing over me in waves and cleansing me and purging me and making me just think of making beautiful sound.
and that is one of the feelings i am going to miss most being in the choir.
the second section was okayyyyyyy and i truly felt the beauty of some of the songs (Voices that care especially-lonely fear lights up the sky, can't help but wonder why, you're so far away.)

And the third section, our pride and joy, our very own original musical, was wonderful. WUNDERBAR :)
we sang and danced our hearts out.
pearly was particularly wonderful, she really played to the crowd and got lots of claps and cheers. (she's so amazing on stage and so humble off stage i really truly admire her.)
i am happy to say that my scream (which signified me waking up from my dream -'more like a nightmare') was fine: i didn't sound soft or gentle, but i did let out a bloodcurdling scream :)
the story went like this.
Aurora (me) a typical school girl, is given an ss assignment which requires her to analyse the social issues faced by today's society. she falls asleep because of her dull task,and dreams of a universe like our own.
It begins with herself as sleeping beauty, who is cursed by the evil green witch because she wasn;t invited to her baby shower because her parents detested her skin colour. then, we meet the ah beng (pearly) who is entranced by the beautiful presents that sleeping beauty got for her baby shower. Wishing he had the money to buy such branded goods, he falls into the trap of gambling at the nearby golden goose casino. of course, he loses his money and almost his life to the loan sharks, and becomes penniless and pitiful. He then meets Jack, who is desperate to climb up the social ladder and become a success, unlike the failure of an ah beng he has just seen. he tries all sorts of underhanded and malicious means to rise above the rest, booting out competitors and eventually succeeding his boss as head of the company. Little does he know that for all he has gained, he has lost something far more precious. The scene switches to Mary, a woman who has been fired because a misunderstanding between her and Jack. She vents her anger on her pitiful maid Cindy ella, who flees her abusive employer, and bumps into the 3 billy goats who are also trying to escape their circumstances, but get stopped by the IRAS just as they are a hairsbreadth from their destination, they realise that the way the world works, is work. But unfortunately, the 3 little pigs who suddenly appear haven't grasped that, and 2 of them are all too happy to put aside their study material (for the exams) to rest and play, under the temptation of the wolf. The wolf almost eats the 2 pigs, which is when Aurora awakes (with a scream) and realises these issues are all so pertinent to today's society, and that writing her assignment won't be as hard as she thought.
:)

My last moments with the choir in an actual performance.
and it was beautiful
choir has meant so much to me.
its opened new doors (worship. friendship) and made me see things differently, and cultivated a love for harmony and chorus.
I don;t think any other choir is as diverse and beautiful as the SC choir and i'm going to miss it so so terribly much.

4

4 tests next week
goodbye computer.
see you next friday or saturday or sunday

hair cut

my tresses are gone.
and according to a dear friend my new hair is "nice but not as smexy" and according to another dear friend i look more "zesty" and less "whimsical"
hmmm
expect me

it remains

forgiven but not forgotten
trust will be built again
i'm sure of it
but it will take time
dear friend, you know not who you are and yet you unwittingly hurt me and unwittingly healed that hurt
and i forgive you

Love remains the same

Phileo love:

‘Phileo’ is a love which consists of the glow of the heart kindled by the perception of that in the object which affords us pleasure. It is the response of the human [soul] to what appeals to it as pleasurable… The word was used to speak of a friendly affection. It is a love called out of one in response to a feeling of pleasure or delight which one experiences from an apprehension of qualities in another that furnish such pleasure or delight. It is also known as a vortherly (or in this case, sisterly) love

:')
you guys <3

9 o'clock and destressing

guess who's going to bake a chocolate cake right now?

my lips are sealed

trust is hard to gain and easy to lose. needless to say, i have lost trust in someone. who i took a long time to really feel safe enough to confide in.
sorry but.
it hurts.
secrets are meant to be kept, not told and discussed and warped.
needless to say i'm going to take a long time to trust you again.

Jan Hai

(this photo is courtesy of TOBY :) )
I'm dedicating this post to a little boy who has made me smile every Sunday I've seen him
In case you don't know, Jan Hai is a little Laotian Boy of about 2 or 3 years old
He comes to my Church every sunday. we pick him up.
and then after church we take him to lunch and back home and i get to play with/babysit him :)
Jan Hai can;t speak English yet. but it doesn't really matter. you can tell when he is happy or frustrated or angry or confused or tired.
Happy=smiling/screaming (in happiness/excitement)
Frustrated/confused=hands up and shrugging, eyebrows furrowed and a look of bemusement on his face (this interchanges with a look of 'this thing should work but it doesn;t what is wrong with it' coupled with short sharp sighs)
Angry=yelling/hitting (once when i continually sabotaged his efforts to get his 5th drink from the vending machine he bulldozed me)
Tired=hands up and asking for a cuddle/carry.
Every sunday i look forward to seeing him because its really fun (albeit challenging) thinking of new things to do with him and new words to teach him.
Once we played bubbles and he successfully poured about half the bottle down his shirt :)
and another time we were teaching him how to say Monkey and he kept pronouncing it as Gungy :)
and this is the quote i found just begins to describe his vitality and intelligence and desire to explore

Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.

YODA, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

SC CARNIVAL

4 years pass so fast.
its my last year in SC and i just got to say,  i love it.
Ok, i do hate some aspects of it: the homework, the daily remedial, the extra cca practice during the holidays, the lousy food, the cliques. but really. there's so much more to love when i look behind my complaints.
so last saturday was CARNIVAL :)
i have to say this year i was really excited and i took special pains to sell as many tickets as i could (And i am proud to say i sold the most in my class :) )
and the carnival did not disappoint
i reached there half an hour early to set up the stall, with yings who was engrossed in A thousand splendid suns (which, by the way, is the best novel i have read since forever) and the Uncle Ringo guys.

The redemption stall was easy to manage, and some of the kids were really cute :) like this little boy who was called Tim who kept coming and counting his tokens out and then running away to get more until he finally had enough for this little blue doggie and when he got it he was o happy he started skipping around with it:) and this other little boy who said "I wanna pink fish" and when i gave it to him he said "I'm gonna share this with my jiejie" AWWWWWWWWWW
The i went around with Yings. I played the monkey race thing and WON (wowowowowoww) a purple unicorn <3
and then we went on the meteorite (it was better 2 years ago) and found her lil brother.
We also bummed around the food stores like Yoguru and ben and Jerrys until it was time to go for the dance concert.
dance concert: nothing is like SC dance i swear. though it was interesting to see the other dance groups from other schools nothing can compare i swear.
after that we had lunch and i had my first CARL"S JUNIOR burger (yummy yummy in my tummy) and loved it. then we met chari and we all went into the drama's horror show case which seriously freaked me out even though it wasn't supposed to be THAT scary (sorry wimpy kid here)

Then i met WEI XIN <3 but i had to run off like Cinderella to go on the meteorite with megan lim.

i felt kinda sad when i was riding with megan because i'll be really sad when she leaves :(

i hope she doesn;t change in her new school. cos she's so uniquely megan.

Anyway, then i went round blowing my money with weixin

it so fun finally being with her since we've kinda been apart (blame it on the choir recess prac)

and it feels so much better now that i've told her my little secret (why didn't i tell her BEFORE stupid me)

and it was so fun just to be excited and crazy and me around her :)

<3 you OWX

we made badges and bought badges and auntie earrings and socks and then i wen ton the monkey game twice more to win a dog for her and for Jan Hai (going to write about him more when i have time cos he's like sunshine in my rainy week)

and then i went home

happy and content and feeling.

Forever is a long time

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live with someone FOREVER.
not like married forever, or until you die forever (wait those two things should mean the same thing. unless your husband dies first. Which is most probable since women have longer lifespans generally)
But ETERNITY forever. Like how we'll be with god Forever and Ever until Forever ends which is never.
I sometimes wonder how I'll do it.
But the secret things belong to the lord and the angels have done it for millenia (ish) and so.

puddle wonderful

Reaffirmed that ballet does make me more graceful (though the effortless pointe of the dancers in the video is so...)

indulgence

i'm feeling fat because today in total i had 3 cupcakes and 2 slices of bread smothered in melted chocolate and 2 biscuits covered in sugar and cream

whimsy

i love how Owl city's songs are just poem's with tunes <3

Vanilla twilight

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

On the Wing

Breathe and I’ll carry you away into the velvet sky
And we’ll stir the stars around
And watch them fall away into the Hudson Bay
And plummet out of sight and sound
The open summer breeze will sweep you through the hills
Where I live in the alpine heights
Below the Northern Lights, I spend my coldest nights
Alone, awake and thinking of...the weekend we were in love

Home among these mountain tops can be so awfully dull
A thousand miles from the tide
But photos on the walls of New York shopping malls
Distract me so I stay inside
I wish the rockets stayed over the promenade
Cuz I would make a hook and eye
And fish them from the sky, my darling, he and I
We’re hanging on so take us high
To sing the world goodbye:

I am floating away
Lost in a silent ballet
I’m dreaming you’re out in the blue and I am right beside you
Awake to take in the view
Late nights and early parades
Still photos and noisy arcades
My darling, we’re both on the wing, look down and keep on singing!
And we can go anywhere
Are you there?
Are you there, or are you just a decoy dream in my head?
Am I home or am I simply tumbling all alone?

the room's hush hush

YF second quarter

mad rush out of the house

on the train no one gives up their seat

opposite me is a man talking loudly

he scares me so i pray for protection

i get the 40 bus just in the nick of time

 (thank god for that lovely driver who stopped for me)

Singing at the top of my lungs with gloria

screaming about PEETAAA and GAAAAAYLE

whistling the haunting hunger games tune

HUNGER GAMES HUNGER GAMES

finally some serous practice and the three guitars sound so rich

chicken rice for dinner

james is wearing bright fluorescent pink shoes

why?

then the actual singing.

i love the new song...our god is greater.

because he is

and now who can stand against us?

the message.

made me wonder

what are my spiritual gifts?

i hope worship is one of them because it fulfils me.

though its fulfilling others that matters

and i do hope they feel as blessed

after each song

as i do

the the testimony

interesting.

so much more than i knew and i wonder if

in those circumstances

i could do that

too.

then its the normal small talk and chat-

ting. home sleep easter tomorrow/

watch it

cinnamon rolls

i baked 21cinnamon rolls on monday and by tuesday all of them were eaten.
think what you will

taking me higher

for some reason i need to document all my Sundays cos they are so vivid and striking and beautiful.
so it started normal.
the after church, and lunch, Hannah, Shawna, Toby, James and I took the bus home. For some reason that made me happy. Floaty and unreal, like i was in a movie.
and i was especially pleased when we stopped off at da paolo and got a chocolate chip scone (today i went there too, nostalgic and craving for the taste of a CCS BUT they were all sold out so i had to content myself with a buttery croissant, which, though warm and delicious, could never match up to a CHOCOLATE CHIP SCONE)
After getting home, i played with Christy and Sarah on the trampoline,a nd i think the sudden rush of exercise after something of a famine from the stuff gave me such a nice adrenaline buzz. and of course the feeling of sailing through the air up and down and up and down.
Then we went upstairs for a brief respite, and i devoted my time to making Jan Hai laugh.
Downstairs again and james and tim came on the trampoline with us and James bounced me really high but i had to be careful because the higher one bounces the less control they have and i had to concentrate on not crashing into James or squashing tim.
The we went to Pastor Pullman's birthday dinner. On the way there i had a most interesting conversation with James. i let slip about how i was thinking of going to an SJI carnival to get feedback on the carnival so as to decide whether or not to go, and he said
James: SJI boys aren't...good
Me: You mean they're bad?
James: No, they just aren't good...They don't slay dragons...they aren't chivalrous...
Me: Do you slay dragons
James: YES
What does that even mean? Anyway i can;t go because i have a choir concert on that day, though i would be so fun to reunite with my primary school buddies....
after the party, we sang our way home, and that was a beautiful ending to a beautiful day.
closure.

extremely loud and incredibly close

last last sunday was so incredibly happy and i don't even know why.
Maybe it was because Jan Hai was so incredibly happy to see us. He was carrying a yellow plastic 'big bookshop' bag, and he looped the hand holding places around his tiny shoulders so it was like a yellow plastic back pack. When he saw our car turn into the drive way he was so excited and he pointed and shouted and almost came running out in front of the car (heart skipped a beat there) and my heart just surged with happiness when i saw him because he is so sanguine all the time and its such a joy to take care of him (albeit tiring at times)
and then in church the message was so... pertinent. changing from the inside out.
i mean, for ages i've tried to change my habits, to no avail usually. and i realised its the heart that has to change first. and thats hard (i mean, what isn't?) but gods word helps. i'm starting QT on the psalms, and i read one chapter every breakfast and there's no saying hoe it encourages me in the day.
I love the verse that says,
" I lie down and sleep;
I wake again, because the LORD sustains me. "
after service we went to suntec city (we being me, emily, james, rebecca, tim, parents and Jan hai)
and for lunch i had NAAN (which i never realised was so delicious)
the man at the shop was lovely and gave me and emily a discount of around 30 cents.
and the Naan itself was superb. supreme.
and for dessert i had a macdonald's hot fudge sundae, which i haven't had since i was like 6, and it was luscious.
After lunch, we walked around and we went to the fountain of wealth. the small one, for wishing. so i walked round it three times with my arm trailing in its waters and wished hard for something.
(no it was not related to X and no it was not related to o levels)
then we went up the top of the fountain and looked at the zodiac signs and their interpretations.
i am apparently scrupulous (which james pronounces as scrah-pu-lous) and a good accumulator of wealth.
James is apparently a fiery (or feery according to him) upholder of mankind (or somehting to that effect)
and emily (like Jan Hai) is something like a passionate trail blazer.
The i raced tim around the rim of the fountain (i refuse to believe that he won) and plated with Jan hai with James, and then flopped down in dizzy happiness.
because that was how i felt
intensely, supremely happy