Auditioning for Sidney Sussex Choir

After hearing Emily's beautiful evensong on Sunday, I missed choir singing more than ever. A bit like how I miss sprinting in track, but also different. Sprinting is freedom, and power, and a different physical plane of being for a glorious 14-ish seconds. Choral singing is challenging and soaring and a different spiritual plane of being for minutes and minutes that flow and blend. (Neither is better than the other, just different.)

Emily told me that the choir is looking for an alto, and gave me the email of the choir director, so I screwed my courage to the sticking place and emailed him on Wednesday - and got an audition on Thursday.

Suffice to say I was so nervous I did no work between sending that email and receiving my audition slot. I realise that I haven't auditioned for something in ages. I just joined Just Love, I just go for yoga classes, and I didn't even need to audition to be in Romeo and Juliet for the ballet last year. Perhaps I needed that break from auditioning for a while, after the constant trying to prove myself in JC and afterwards in trying to get a scholarship. But I told myself that this audition was different. Sidney Choir are incredible, I hadn't sung chorally for almost two years, I only chose my audition song at about 11pm the night before the audition, I was auditioning as an alto although I've always been a soprano 2. And so it was highly likely that I wouldn't be accepted. 

(I still don't know if I am, having not received a response from the director)

Emily very graciously gave me a little singing lesson, reminding me how to breathe from my diaphragm and teaching me an amazing trick to strengthen your voice (go through your song with 'brrrr' lips before hand, and then sing it afterwards, the difference is incredible!) and generally calmed me down.

At 5.25pm I cycled down, humming all the way down to keep my voice warm despite how bitterly cold it was outside. Arriving early, I dithered outside the chapel for a while, sent two pictures of my distressed face to Hannah and Weixin, read the plaque that says Oliver Cromwell's head is buried somewhere in Sidney (no one knows where) and felt my stomach curdle as someone inside was singing like a modern day Andreas Bocelli.

Soon, two people came out and wished me all the best, and then I walked into the dim candle lit chapel. I introduced myself, shook hands with the director (inwardly cursed myself for having perpetually cold hands), gave the man at the piano my sheet music and then stood at the front of the chapel. The director told me to sing to the statue of St George at the back of the chapel.

My first verse was breathy and weak, and I took a little while to get the tempo that the guy at the piano was playing at. But at some point inside, I internally told myself 'Don't you dare give up. You like this song, you've practice this song, you can do this so much better.' and the chorus and second verse went so much better.

Then the director got me to name some intervals, and do some sight singing (I had a bit of trouble with catching the rhythm and reading the latin) and then, as the choir started coming in for their Thursday rehearsal, asked me if I wanted to stay and have a go with them.

And so I did, and, ah, it was hard. It was basically an hour of sight-singing, really fast. But also to be surrounded and lifted by such beautiful voices and at points being able to lend my own in, blend my own in and sing with them - I missed that.

I don't know whether that was my last rehearsal, or my first, but I was glad Emily was standing opposite me and smiled at me whenever I looked at her (with no doubt either a blissful smile or a panicked frown) 

Now I wait.

(So the director just got back to me - I think I'm on a sort of 'probation', as he will give me the music for next weeks rehearsal which I have a week to learn, and then he will see how I do in the next rehearsal.)