night fall

Usually I sleep easily. 

Last night, after an evening of feeling so tired I couldn't eat (I did manage to have a bowl of mashed potatoes, but I didn't taste any of it) I crawled into bed and said 'Tomorrow is a new day, tomorrow is a new day, tomorrow is a new day'. But I couldn't get to sleep for ages, and when sleep did come, it was a light and troubled one.

Usually I sleep through storms and sounds and everything basically.

But last night I heard the creak of my Grandma's door as she got up to go to the toilet, and the creak of the door as she went back into her room.

And then a loud 'thump'.

I sat up, out of bed, lights on, up the stairs two at a time in the dark.

I paused before I opened the door.

'Grandma? Are you alright?'

'Hello, love, I've just had a little fall.'

I was so glad to here her voice. I cracked open the door and saw her, in her pajamas, back flat on the floor, inexplicably holding her legs in the air. I got her some blankets and she explained she'd been trying to climb back into into bed but couldn't quite make it and slipped back. I got her a pillow for my head and she asked me to go back to bed.

It was about 5.13 am. I got back into bed, but I didn't want Grandma to fall asleep on the floor, so I got more blankets and went back up and curled up to her on the floor. We talked about King Solomon and how on earth his palace could fit so many wives and concubines (and their children)

I could hear the birds beginning to sing outside, but Grandma couldn't hear them. (I do not think they will sing to me)

After a while, she felt ready to start moving, and first rolled over and knelt holding on to the chair for support, then walked over to the bed and rested against that before climbing in and getting comfortable.

I can't help but feel I was meant not to sleep, that I was meant to be awake so that I could respond when Grandma fell. I'm exhausted now, but thank you God, for orchestrating last night in ways I didn't appreciate at first but now know were part of your plan.