I woke up today from a nightmare that shocked me at how violent my brain could be against - itself? The sort of dream where there's a frightening person threatening you (and unlike usual dreams where you're sort of omniscient and pre-empt what is about to come next, the threat arrives unexpectedly) and you try to scream to get help but you can't and you can't move either.
But like that funny saying 'red sky at night, shepherd's delight' and the night's terror was the beginning of a incredible day. Having worked in the kitchen here for 5 days now, everything has become a process that I feel I know my role in. It's still tiring and frantic in that one hour before we serve up (not helped by the fact that we are a team of 5 where in previous years there have always been six in the catering team) but it's punctuated by a morning prayer, tea breaks that break out in laughter, fun chat, and occasional kitchen singing.
At the beginning of the week I was worried that I wouldn't be able to connect with women of such a different age group and stage in life, but although I'm the age of their children (or possibly grandchildren in a couple of cases) we've grown to really appreciate and have fun with each other.
It's incredible how a shared faith transcends boundaries of age and situation. We're all vastly different, and yet today one woman shared with the rest of us how one of the biggest things she'd noticed about being a Christian was just how liberating it was to have you identity rooted in Christ. How you no longer needed to worry about approval from others or showing and working for your worth, since you have been redeemed and therefore deemed worthy of love and forgiveness and grace by Jesus. And I thought - yes! yes, that's something I'm definitely still learning but which has become so apparent to me in the recent years in Cambridge where to compete against others is futile and you have to examine why you do what you do - is it simply to prove to some arbitrary authority that you can, or a reflection of joy at the gifts God has give you and the context He has blessed you with?
During my afternoon break I took a walk to the Base Camp, had a nice conversation with a policeman (who I asked for directions from) on the way over, got a complimentary coffee and some non-complimentary but very exciting books, and then walked back via the Keswick Market. I stopped by a shop selling muesli (how can I not stop when I see toasted oats and nuts) and spoke with the man selling the muesli. He let me try some, and gave sympathy when he found out our team are cooking 70-90 people three meals a day, and told me about how he'd decided to start this muesli business with a friend after university. I told him my sort-of (day) dream I have of starting a cafe and selling granola, and he laughed and said he'd consider making granola to sell alongside his muesli.
(sorry I've just gone on a ramble about muesli of all things - but it was such a lovely passing conversation)
After the dinner shift I went to the main tent to listen to the talk. It was incredibly inspiring, given by two missionaries in Egypt who work in a poor village, spreading God's word, helping the local people improve their social and living conditions, and providing a service to the special needs children of the village too. At one point, the man speaking choked up as he talked about his wife's work with the special needs children, and I saw just how much he respected her and loved the children, and at the same time how much his heart broke for them and for her as her heart is broken by the difficulty and discrimination they face. He didn't try to restrain the tremble in his voice or the tears in his eyes, but spoke through it before he became composed again and spoke with a bright intensity about why it is all worth it - why they do what they do when it is so hard. And that is simply because Jesus is worth it all, is the ultimate healer of heartbreak and mender of bodies and minds, and his salvation is the greatest treasure they could give to anyone, a treasure that would mean even someone living in the poorest, most decrepit of conditions would be the richest person in the world.
After the talk they called for people who had felt any inclination or calling to work in the mission field to come to the front if they wanted to be prayed for - and as we sang the final song I was moved as I saw so many going forward. Young, old, men, women - to share what has given them joy and peace and life to the full.
I walked back from the evening meeting and though the mist covered most of the fells, in a little break between the clouds I glimpsed a salmon-red sky.
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