1. Anonymity is a beautiful beautiful thing
The best thing about serving in OTT was that initially no one apart from Ching knew who I was. i wasn't smart or talented or bad or good or athletic or vegetarian or weak or poor or anything. I was just a new part-timer coming in to learn, with no expectations placed upon me apart from the expectation that I would be open to learn and willing to serve. It was like being able to breathe again, so different from those times where I felt so pressed in school because people knew me as somewhat extraordinary, when in fact I face the common petty problems of life just like the next person. Being able to start work as a tabula rasa when it came to preconceptions of me was a beautiful beautiful thing.
2. Waitresses have the most dirty hands
We do the washing up as well, which sometimes requires plunging our hands into elbow high greasy water to unplug the sink. Your arms come out a different colour. Then we wash our hands, go out, and continue serving food. The smell sometimes stays.
3. We know when you take pictures of us
Yes I'm talking to you, creepy old man filming me on Valentine's Day, and you, SMU student who changed table to get a 'better angle'
4. When you ask for a recommendation, we don't always know what it is we recommend
I, for one, recommend the dishes that get served the most, because (being vegetarian) I can't eat 90% of the menu and am just assuming it's good because of popularity.
Sometimes, if I'm feeling naughty, I recommend the vegetarian dishes only. "Oh the Gnocchi is REALLY nice."
It's worse for the beers since I have actually never drunk a beer in my entire life. So I always recommend the Witteker because it sounds like Wittberger (aka. Samuel Wittberger) or the Op and Top because it has a windmill on it's cap and I collect every cap I uncap from the beers, or the cider because I've had apple cider before and I assume all ciders taste similarly fruity.
5. We sit you at that smaller table because of efficiency, not because we don't like you.
The seating plan of a cafe is like a jigsaw puzzle, and we're trying to figure out the way to fit in every piece that arrives through the door.
Once I had a customer come in with his girlfriend during peak lunch hour, and move from the small table that I sat him at to a large 6-seater table. Soon after that, four more customers came in, and I asked the first customer if he minded sitting back at the small table so the larger group could have the bigger one. He said "No, we came first, we sat here." And wouldn't budge. Thankfully the bigger group were obliging and did't mind squashing themselves all round the smaller table.
6. We sometimes love it when we make mistakes.
Once, Leonard 'broke' a hummingbird cake while serving it, and we all got to eat it afterwards.
Ching sometimes mimes mutilating the raspberry lemon curd cake because she wants to eat it so much.
7. We clear your plates WITH OUR HANDS.
Please don't leave your dental floss/chicken bones/half chewed balls of food wrapped in napkins (true story) on the table for us to pick up after you.
8. People are so special
Some customers come in to drink tiny cups of coffee and spend long afternoons reading thick books, some customers write in diaries with beautiful penmanship, some customers ask specifically for an orange saucer because it is their favourite colour, some customers are very interested in the architecture of the cafe. Everyone has their own little quirks and idiosyncrasies, and as a waitress you get to see a sort of stop motion film of human habit and constantly fall in love with the with how individual every person is.
'We don’t watch ourselves sleeping in bed, curled up and silent with chests rising and falling with our own rhythm. We don’t see ourselves reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing. You don’t see yourself looking at someone with love and care inside your heart. There’s no mirror in your way when you’re laughing and smiling and happiness is leaking out of you. You would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly yourself.'
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